turtle-loafer 

1)Someone who get sexual pleasure from imagining a turtle.

Girl-come on Johnny, how do I get you turned on?
Johnny-I don't know
Girl-well I'm gonna go feed my turtle
Johnny-IT'S HAPPENING!!!! *fap fap fap fap* turtles.........it's the turtles!!!!!! They're so wrinkly and slow!!! It gets me hot!!!! OMG! I think I'm a turtle-loafer!!!
Girl-I'm glad to her that! Because I have a thing for slow wrinkly things too!

turtle-loafer by Z4zebra July 23, 2012

turtle in the water 

1. A milf, a code word to say to your bros when in public.

Bro, "Holy shit, turtle in the water 3 o'clock."
Public, "where the fuck is the turtle?"
Bros,"they don't even get it! That was a fucking milf!"

turtle in the water by Young Musky November 17, 2013

turtle surprise

When during a rim job, the rimee squeezes some amount of turd out, either voluntarily or involuntarily, and poop ends up on or in the rimmer's mouth.

"I wasn't feeling well, but he insisted on rimming me. I ended up giving him a turtle surprise."

turtle surprise by grubblerfubbler February 5, 2014

Turtle Date 

Turtlenecks and Sex.

-Not recommended.

"What's a Turtle Date?" "Seriously, just don't do it."

Turtle Date by Tittlator. September 24, 2014

turtle farmer 

The individual responsible for extracting the boofed object; a correctional officer

Upon arriving to the correctional facility for a conjugal visit , I was subjected to a cavity search by a turtle farmer.

turtle farmer by Kattpisseverdeen March 5, 2015

Turtle Pack 

When one has very large testicles and or penis, they will have a large bulge in their trousers that can be easily noticed.

That guy walking past the chippy has got a huge turtle pack!!

Turtle Pack by BoatMan May 28, 2015

turtle herder 

Someone that is in charge of rounding up, containing, or otherwise directing slow moving people, especially children.

Getting anywhere on time with little kids makes me feel like a turtle herder

turtle herder by herdingturtles June 8, 2015