french kiss the morning

French kiss the morning is a phrase referring to the first large, gaping, tongue lolling yawn given by a person (or animal) after waking.

I always wake early, "French kiss the morning", then turn to my wife who advises: "Brush your teeth before trying that on me...".

by AgInspector April 19, 2017

morning after balls

The nasty, sweaty, slimy and stinking mess that is your crime scene after a particularly heavy night. Usually the state of them will offend even yourself, and you are often in such an extremely hungover state that you have missed your opportunity to shower that day. The only cure is to scrub thoroughly and treat with Gold Bond. This can have various causes such as: 1)dancing all night, allowing for a sufficient coating of sweat to turn rancid while you sleep; or 2) after a night of particularly excessive sexual exploits, the 'maturing' of 'love fluids' on the affected area.

Today is probably one of the worst days of my life, I've got a beastly hangover, don't have any of the right books for my lectures, and a killer case of morning after balls. Can I borrow your shower?

by MrKoi May 31, 2007

Morning coffee

Morning coffee=rubbing one out before work/school/going out in the morning. Like a caffeine fix, one may be irritable and groggy without it.

Person 1: "Why is Jose such a grouch today?"
Person 2: "He hasn't had his morning coffee yet."

by MassBoss June 19, 2013

morning shift

To take a dump in the morning.

I'm working the morning shift today.

by trappy76 June 17, 2009

Morning Dewey

A morning dewey is when you jizz all over your friends face while they are sleeping or are passed out from consuming copious amounts of alcohol.

Asshole #1: "How was your morning sunshine?"

Asshole #2: "Fucking shit. I was super hungover and I woke up with a morning dewey on face. It had dried up and I couldn't fucking open my eyes. It was the worst."

Asshole #1: "Hahaha, I was the one who gave you the morning dewey. I'm so awesome"

Asshole #2: Go fuck yourself.

by Ola G. October 20, 2010

Morning Stem

British slang for morning wood

boy: you're only here because daddy gets morning stem and mum takes advantage of it.

by fernvndooo April 28, 2015

Morning Wood Fairy

It's the mystical spirit that turns your soft serve into rock candy.

When everyone's asleep,
the Morning Wood Fairy comes at night,
she makes our sausages hard,
and vanishes out of sight.
I woke up in the morning,
and I got up to pee
but then I last discovered
my sapling turned into a tree.

by Cinna the Poet October 11, 2016