Wiped my shoes on her welcome mat

When going down on a girl you vomit in your mouth and either swallow it back or spray it on her cooter.

Dude, I was going down on this chick pastor and totally wiped my shoes on her welcome mat.

by max meat July 20, 2010

Don't wipe your ass before you shit

1.An expression you use to tell a person to stop bragging who claims victory before a brawl,race,match,competiion or any other event that has yet to happen.

A)
Kevin: let's see who has the speed to make it to the finish line quicker.

Eric: Man I got this,I'm gonna murk your ass!!

Kevin: Don't wipe your ass before you shit Eric ;it's not over till is over.

B)
Eric:10 bucks I get a better grade in my physics test?

BeHa: Man you always say that but you always fail,don't wipe your ass before shit!!!!

Jack: Yo Eric you ain't beating noone shut upp!!!

Mick: Yea don't wipe your ass before shit!!!

by BeHa February 20, 2011

i just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

A bad internet joke that sometimes fools people.

I just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

by Twenty One Discoball Romances June 11, 2017

cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

a dick head guy who just fuckes shit up even when he try to be good

harry you cant do anything right, your such a cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

by greg.gatzz May 30, 2017

mind wipe

Learning something that completely shatters your paradigm of what was possible.

“That movie is a mind wipe.”

“I can’t believe who she’s with, that’s a complete mind wipe!”

by ThinkTank132 July 9, 2010

Swipe and wipe

When you are taking a shit and you go to online Dating (Tinder) and swipe whilst in the midst of your bowel movement. When finished wiping, swipe and wipe is complete.

I matched with her during swipe and wipe.

by Eric PH November 7, 2020

Ass-wipe

Like a lick-ass, but x10. An ass-wipe doesn’t just lick their ass but they lick it, wipe it and clean it too. Mostly goody-two-shoes but could be anyone

“Luke is the BIGGEST ass-wipe to Mr Smith, he problay has a secret shrine to him.”

by coconut scones❤️ February 19, 2019