Religion

Did I already do my take on this?

Religion "Well... You can't have what you want now... And maybe not ever... But if you do what I want you to do now... And then do that indefinitely... THEN... Then, you're DEFINITELY going to get what you want when you're dead! But do what I want you to do now because *insert semantic reconfiguration of reality to justify your subsidiarity to me*"

Hym "Do you have what you want, like, now or?"

Religion "Wha-er, What? Well... Yeah, I was doing the thing though."

Hym "Yeah... You say that... But I saw you NOT doing the thing and I don't believe that you're doing the thing when I'm not around..."

Religion "Well, umm... No, I did the thing..."

Hym "You certainly did A thing... What did you do? Wait... What's that book? You wrote it down? Lemme see..."

Religion "Umm... Yes?"

Hym "Yeahyeahyeah lemme see. I'm just going to bounce around... Ok.. Burned a city to the ground... Nailed an innocent guy to some wood... Killed a bunch of people and kidnapped their daughters!? WHAT!?"

Religion "Umm..."

Hym "Is THAT not YOUR little girl!?"

Little girl "Hi."

Hym "OHOHO! MAN! THAT... THAT is tragic! WOW! You are fucking twisted man. That is fucking twisted! Hahaha! You want ME to do THAT!?"

Religion "I mean... Yes?"

Hym "OK!"
😵🗡😁
Religion "HRRRGHK!!"

Hym "Hahahaha... *Sigh* Haaa... Now what do little girls eat? Do you eat priest?"

Little girl "No..."

Hym "Yeah, no I didn't think so... Hmm... I'll figure it out later."

by Hym Iam November 28, 2023

Religion

Religion (only in reference to wrong religion)

R = Right (even when it's wrong).
E = Elitist.
L = Lying (Well; they can't ALL be right)?
I = Ignoring the real problems.
G = Gimme!
I = Ignorant.
O = Ornery (means: burdensome).
N = Nonsense (again; some of it).

Religion is the Opium of the masses.

by Smeaglez April 10, 2024

Religion baiting

Religion baiting is a sub genre of fear baiting. It is type of content that usually starts with “scroll if you hate Jesus”. Which uses Religion as a way to stop you. And it uses fear of going to hell as a way to make you watch the video. The content creator then proceeds to tell you to comment, like, and subscribe if you love Jesus. It makes kids interact with their video pushing it to more people.

Some of the worst people on earth: “I have an idea! I should use Religion baiting to get more subscribers on my shitty Roblox YouTube Shorts account.”

by ALPHA-C May 1, 2024

Religion

Fire insurance for the hopelessly immoral.

"My religion will save me from Hell."

by Old-Crab May 2, 2024

Religion of peace

When you have to repeatedly refer to a religion as a "religion of peace", then it is not a religion of peace.

Islam is a religion of peace. Terrorism has no religion.
Yes Islam is a religion of peace. A religion of pieces.
YOU CHRISTIAN NATIONALIST BIGOT!

by PseudonymsAreGay May 4, 2024

religion

Another word for Cult. While i think some religions are fine. most if not almost all religions are false beliefs that people follow to the grave. people think they can just horrible hate crimes or just murder someone and then pray. most don't use religion for the good they say they do."Leviticus 19:18: "You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against any of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself." most Christians don't follow this, in fact most Christians haven't even read the bible.

"Oh Hello There Young Lady, Wanna Join Our Religion?" "No, I'm an Atheist." "HOW DARE YOU!"

by SoClaos November 27, 2024

Religion

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to abscesses.

Person 1: Are you addicted to abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Religion

by LeSouffleDeVersailles January 20, 2025