Morning wood

When a man wakes up to go pee in the morning and misses the toilet because his Woody is happy asf

*birds chirping* *guy yawning*

Guy: good morning sunshine

* Walks to the toilet and pulls down pj's*

Guy: I just need to pee real quick then I'll go to work. *pissssssssssss* *misses*

AWWWW FUCK NOT AGAIN, I GOT FUCKING Morning Wood

by Just_a_guy_named_grandpa April 9, 2016

Morning Cardio

Morning sex so vigorous and intense that it’s equal to a heart racing, pulse pumping cardio workout.

Did you hit the gym this morning braaaaahhhh? No broooooohhh got in some morning cardio before I left the house.

by Eaton Holgoode October 25, 2018

Morning Wood

You get out of bed and you have one. Luckily, none of your fam is there to see it so you good.

Bobby was at a friend’s house for a sleepover. In the morning, his friend had morning wood. This was an uncomfortable situation for Bobby.

by Shrekcanneverbereplaced May 23, 2019

Last morning

Somewhere between 'last night' and 'this morning'; When you're up so late that you don't go to bed until after the sun has come up.

Bro 1: You should have gone home with that girl last morning.

Bro 2: Not a chance, bro. I can't get my freak on when the birds are chirping.

by slim415 December 15, 2009

Wood Morning

A good morning expression for certain circumstances.
See morning wood

him: good morning.

her: ooh, wood morning baby!

by woodsey March 14, 2012

Peyton Manning-ed

To lull someone (like say the Chargers) into a false sense of security and then tear out their heart and serve it to them with a tall glass of "sit the fuck down". See also Chuck Norris

Peyton Manning post game conference.

Reporter: "Peyton, how do you describe what just happened?"
Peyton Manning: " The San Diego Chargers just got Peyton Manning-ed... 'nough said."

by BFTQID October 16, 2012

pastor manning

When a gay bottom has a fire in his butthole that can only be filled by having anal sex.

Dude I was totally pastor manning last night, until Jesus came over.

by Zeminator December 5, 2016