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Monkey News

A cult classic radio/podcast feature on "The Ricky Gervais Show", in which Karl Pilkington tells Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant a ludicrous story about some monkey(s), which is always equally retarded and hilarious.
"Ooh, CHIMPFANCY THAT it's monkey news ya fuckigrrrcnt..."

"He drove to Spain"

"DON'T TALK SHIT"
by hans_chavez June 5, 2024
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Artic Monkey

"Get that artic monkey off my lawn!"
by Articmonkeyballz June 8, 2024
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Artic Monkey

Aka a white porch monkey, also known as a saltine cracker (a white person)
I'm pretty sure that artic monkey doesn't have food stamps.

Get that artic monkey off my lawn
by Articmonkeyballz June 9, 2024
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Smoke Monkeys

Black people. Mostly due to their reputation for smoking a lot. Particularly Newports.
I was driving through Nashville and noticed an awful lot of smoke monkeys.
by MedHomer June 9, 2024
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Potato Monkey

Something that is completely nonsensical. Used in the Tally Hall song "Good Day".
"Everyone loves a potato monkey!" -Television voice #1
by Yee_Enjoyer June 18, 2024
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monkey hair tickler

someone who likes to pluck hairs out of a monkey and tickle them with it who happens to be very ugly
Stacy: did you see Kendi today? And what she posted on her story ugh she's such a monkey hair tickler *eye roll*

Kendi: wait hold up, that's my name..

the rest of the group: oop

Kendi: why are you talking shit, Stacy? it's not my fault your bf cheated on you with Kendra

the rest of the group: OOOO

Stacy: oh don't even, we all know you're just jealous because no one likes you, not even our group likes you. You have no friends and everyone knows it

Kendi: you know what ? Fuck you

*they fight and Kendi gets jumped by the group and gets her ass beat to a poulp*

btw follow my insta : pe4ceisup
by peacein.it.my.way June 20, 2024
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Not to Spank The Monkey

A way of saying not to beat around bush or I’m not bull shitting you.
by Skibidi D June 21, 2024
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