parasitic groping pretzel tree

: an exceptionally advanced cuddling position involving two persons and a spectator. The first person involved, lying on their back, must have one leg between the other person’s legs, wrapping their remaining leg--the far outside leg--around the three already intertwined. The second participant tightly wraps their torso on top of first person’s side, while snuggling their head into the décolletage or chest area. The first person’s arms are generally stretched around the second person’s waist and back, firmly supporting their contorted position and clutching them as closely as possible; and, the second person’s arms are up-stretched and wound around the chest and neck area of the first person. Ideally, the second person in this position should have minimal contact with the bed—a hip at most. This position is generally most effective in the dark where the role of the spectator is to remain to the side, burning with curiosity.

B: What's going on over there?

C: We're having a parasitic groping pretzel tree.

A: *muffled chuckling*

by C0S0f0N0 November 23, 2010

parasmitic

Describing behavior that is both parasitic and smitten (a portmanteau of both words); often answered with unexpressed revulsion by the object of the leeching affection, thus enabling subsequent parasmitic behavior. Expressed revulsion will frequently dislodge the parasite, thus leaving only unrequited affection.

Her overseas Facebook stalker was merely annoying until he booked a flight to her home town and announced his arrival, assuming he should stay at her place. She decided the racking sound of a 12 gague would dampen his parasmitic ambitions. Nonetheless, he continued to make phallic banana jokes.

by JK@M9 January 27, 2011

parasitic twin

In medical circles can refer to twin reversed arterial perfusion, or a subset of conjoint (siamese) twins. Two fetusii develop conjoined, but one (the parasite) does not fully develop and is wholly dependent on his host brother.

In team management refers to a redundant slacker who performs an identical, complete subset of the effort performed by a more capable worker.

a: we have the same job! we're like siamese twins!

b: nah, I do twice as much. you're a parasitic twin

by justsomerandomdude October 14, 2009

Parashitting

When you shit yourself while parachuting.

Guy 1: "Oh man, I think I'm parashitting myself!"
Guy 2: "What? I can't hear you!"

by zephwynder June 12, 2018

Parasitic Rug Pull

When you buy a BSC token thinking you'll become the next crypto millionaire but then the dev(s) slowly over time drain the asset and sell it off on an exchange or on Pancakeswap for a more valuable asset or stable coin such as Bitcoin, BNB or BUSD leaving you with a worthless token.

*dev or mod shilling coin on Facebook group from alt account

"hey group check out this token called Supremium, if you buy it at 0.0000005 you'll be rich when this token 100x within a year"
*Investors join and devs slowly dump all their coins on you and take that sweet BNB, BTC or BUSD

Leaving you with a ton of tokens and zero to no purchasing power (i.e parasitic rug pull)

by Speakthetruth444 November 24, 2021

parasitelepath

A pathetically less evolved type of telepathic human that eavesdrops, steals, rapes, abuses, brainwashes, impersonates, and manipulates innocent people on the daily. If you ever hear one try to burrow into your mind with an annoying hissing sound, hitting them with an electromagnetic death ray burst from your imagination will surely force them into submission immediately.

I found out my entire identity was stolen by a parasitelepath for years before I tracked her down and leveled her entire existence.

by ninaarhowell August 23, 2023

drama-parasite

drama-parasite - this friend is always going through a crisis and you can't enjoy yourself with them because you're too busy picking up the pieces, of whatever is their current problem. And they always have one/hundred.
Do not mistake for emotional vampire.

That girl is a drama-parasite.

Uh huh!

by Trinity River July 24, 2014