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Cuffy

A name for any random drunk from Natick, Massachusetts
Cuffy left his empty bottle of Boone's farm on the steps again!
by The New White Morpheus May 11, 2023
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Bigelow Coefficient

The use of a random number generator and the absolute value of a sum of numbers to provide reporting data for a company or organization.
Did you hear - the CFO was caught using the Bigelow Coefficient to make up the profit and loss statement
by elbowman November 23, 2009
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Related Words

Verbal Cuff

When you are stuck in an unwanted one sided conversation
I was stuck in a verbal cuff with an annoying person
by Verbal Cuff March 28, 2019
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COVID-cuffed

When you realize who you can be close to during covid-19 social distancing and decide to date because it's convenient and they are already a contact.
When she realized she was stuck with her roommate during the pandemic, she covid-cuffed out boredom and realized he was amazing in bed. The pandemic can have happy unexpected outcomes.
by FiestyItalianGal March 28, 2020
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cuffed and stuffed

To be arrested by being handcuffed and placed rudely into a police car.
Ben: "What happened to Steve last night?
Gil: "Steve was caught with some blow on him, and he was cuffed and stuffed. He's getting out on bail later today."
by Christopher Graham February 24, 2006
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Lying-ass Motherfucker Coefficient

When dealing with a lying-ass motherfucker, the Lying-ass Motherfucker Coefficient (LAMC)is the multiplier (generally around .39) added to any numbers (such as income, number of recent sexual relations, cost of automobile, amount of alcohol consumed, length of prison sentence, etc) quoted by said lying-ass motherfucker, with the intent of approximating a truer estimate of the referenced events.

The actual value of the LAMC fluctuates depending on the relative purity of the lying-ass motherfucker in question and must be adjusted accordingly. A LAMC of .8 or .9 is only appropriate for a "part-time" or a "fly-by-night" lying-ass motherfucker, while a true, pathological lying-ass motherfucker often necessitates a .1 or even a .05!

Use a known quantity to assign a LAMC value to the lying-ass motherfuckers in your life. If, for instance, a lying ass motherfucker at your work claims he made a cool $120 in tips over the course of his shift when you spotted him pocketing a paltry $45, you can safely place his LAMC at .375, give or take a few hundredths.

Once a LAMC is established, it tends to remain fairly constant, varying only in cases of extreme mental excitement, anguish, or upheaval. Lying-ass motherfuckers who are manic drunks, for example, often require a lower LAMC value when they are on the sauce. Tears in the beer, however, can indicate that a higher value should be used ("in vino veritas" rings true, for depressive drunk lying-ass motherfuckers at least).

A final note: the LAMC only applies to numbers which the lying-ass motherfucker has motive to inflate (like the number of people it took to beat the shit out of him last night downtown). For instances where a lower number would seem "cooler" (such as the number of statuatory rape charges on his permanent record) a Reverse Lying-ass Motherfucker Coefficient (RLAMC) must be employed. The RLAMC will be covered in a later article.
Andrew: Man, Jacob was wasted when I came in last night! He said he drank a whole twelve pack when he was out with Tina!

Joe: Man, fuck that noise. You know that Jacob's Lying-ass Motherfucker Coefficient is a good .25 easy. He drank three beers, cried for a while, got Tina's voicemail, got ten other girls' voicemails, watched TV, and then passed out on the couch, which is where you found him when you came in.

Andrew: You're right, man. Dude's a lying-ass motherfucker. I don't know what I was thinking.
by squizzot May 1, 2009
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Butler's Cuff

she had a fanny like a butlers cuff, she did
by Schmee June 25, 2004
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