Southern Baptist

Yet another one of those groups like soccer moms and Mormons who would rather have everyone else around them feel as pathetic as themselves.

Some of their known atrocities include burning books, promoting an "abstinence-only" approach to sex ed, and eroding women's lives (not only on the right to choose, but to the sickening degree of "a woman's place is in the home" that wasn't present in the time of Leave It to Beaver.)

As with any possible religious fundy, not all Southern Baptists follow these retrovisionist beliefs. Take with a full shaker of salt.

First the Jehova's Witnesses last Monday, now the Southern Baptists? Jenny, get my gun.

by Dee A. Theis August 28, 2003

Flag

Get the Southern Baptist mug.

baptist priest

someone, usually human but thats a bit iffy, who enjoys forcing their beliefs down other peoples throats and telling us we'll go to hell.

actual baptist: Hitler was a baptist so he shall sit at the table of god, but all non-baptists (cant remember specific type...) shall go to hell.

...i was told this on the phone by an actual baptist priest...

by truth of avarice August 14, 2008

Flag

Get the baptist priest mug.

Landover Baptist

A fictional religion based on false hope and lies. Takes advantage of the unknowing and relies on bashing all other religions in the effort to promote the agenda of making money and building its cult.

"Followers" of this religion get high on bashing, are hypocrites and hide their hatred towards others with fake "God Bless" notes.

Do not believe their lies, do not donate, do not follow.

I saw the Landover Baptist member spitting on a Jew and suck the finger of Chris Harper, all on the same street corner.

by M_M_L_J April 16, 2010

Flag

Get the Landover Baptist mug.

Landover Baptist

Ultra-Right wing fundamentalists protestants? Well, I can agree with you concerning the ones that think the Pope is Satan himself, that the New World Order is coming (The UN army isn't big enough to police the state of Connecticut for fuck's sake, how the hell are they going to take over the world?), and a whole bunch of other shit. Note, the Landover Baptist website is a fucking PARODY, and isn't representative of the MAJORITY of Protestants out there, just the obsessive loonies. We're tolerant of people of different ethnicities, we don't believe in bombing abortion clinics (those who do obviously aren't "pro-life") and we most certainly do NOT go out Goth-hunting. I know that the site is just satire, but this shit is starting to get out of hand. I'll have to create a liberal/atheist parody site to keep shit "fair and balanced."

Landover Baptist is somewhat ironic, considering that they run parody ads making fun of Bush, yet a lot of conservatives I talk to are pissed at Bush. The only people who are blindly devoted to him anymore are those hicks who have a seething hatred for us "Yankees," just because we kicked their rebellious asses back in line during the Civil War.

by C-can February 9, 2004

Flag

Get the Landover Baptist mug.

bedside baptist

a baptist who would rather stay in bed instead of going to church?

"where is john this morning?"
"he's a bedside baptist"

see matress worship

by lozikins May 9, 2010

Flag

Get the bedside baptist mug.

Anti-Baptist

anyone who stands on a corner or outside the Ace's and preaches hell-fire.

Anyone who think God hates Gays,Sodomites,Violence Lovers,Perverts, and some children

*Anti-Baptist* Arrrr you r a fagit and a pervert and are goin' to HELL!!!!!!
*Alex* at least I don't Fuck My Sister!!!!!
*Anti-Baptist*(makes odd motion)
*Anthony* Stupid Anti-Baptist!
*john* yea....

by KingToney September 13, 2007

Flag

Get the Anti-Baptist mug.