churched

absolutely screwed, shit out of luck, an unfortunate turn of events, opposite the desired outcome, boned in the ass metaphorically, in some form of trouble, unpredictable event that did not go in your favor

Completely forgot Chic-fil-a was closed on Sunday's, that's some bullshit, I'm churched.

We missed the iPhone presale at 6am, can't believe it sold out in 30 seconds, we're churched.

My x just got to the bar we're at with her new fuckboy of a boyfriend from Santa Monica, wtf, I'm churchd' *SMH*

by sailingjerryjones November 6, 2017

Church

The fucked up thing about going to church is one of the main figures of Christianity is a Jewish guy, which never made much sense. It's not a matter of one religion being right and the other one wrong, but it's something you notice, that one of the main figures of the religion, though he was called Christ in name, was never a Christian himself.

If a main figure in Church was Buddha, more people would be skeptical about religion, but Jesus is someone they think looks like them, so he's one of them.

by Solid Mantis February 12, 2021

churching

To attempt the crab position whilst maintaining an erection, completely naked. The limbs become the walls, the body the ceiling and the thoroughly erect penis, becomes the steeple.

'I like to thoroughly stretch out my pelvic muscles with a good morning churching.'

by Charon92 February 13, 2017

Church

A place where you pray to the LORD so the LORD can forgive your sins.
read the bible and give your trust to Jesus Christ
Jesus is coming soon.

also I don't know much about church nor about Jesus/God/Holy Spirit I only know a little bit about them

I don't know what to do for an example ;-;
church is a place where your sins are forgiven by the LORD?

by AkemiDoesn'tMakeSense December 14, 2020

Church

The worst place to:

1. randomly laugh out loud

2. take a snooze

3. take a poo
4. wear flip flops

Church is the worst place to drop a verse,

One thing I didn’t mention until it’s my intention,

I let it and get it, never forget it, regret it,

It can’t possibly be worse, it’s terse,

Have fun and go to church, peace out!

by zinc_47 February 1, 2018

church

Its where scared motherfuckers go...when they are intimidated and pray to god.. a song from ice cube too

Pussy ass bitch, why are you running? Go to fucking church!

by ©WhiteBoi September 8, 2006

churchs

places of prayer. buds of brown decent with smell of jamaican weed.

im goin to church on sunday. im smokin that ill asss churches brown shit fucks me up.

by adammerf May 17, 2004