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Finnish Textile Plant

A person committing the act of a Finnish Textile Plant first punches his female victim in the gut, straight through to her ovaries, then jizzes directly in the hole thus ensuring pregnancy.
"We weren't sure if the mother was going to be able to live through the pregnancy after receiving the Finnish Textile Plant from her husband however we've realized the hole simplifies the birthday process."

-astounded medical professional

very similar to it's counterpart, the HTTP: Hyper Turkish Textile Plant
by TextileWorker September 25, 2011
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Texties

1.) an informal yet popular word for the phase 'text message' often used in casual conversations, between friends and family.
'I'll get on the texties later tonight'
by Why_not? January 18, 2009
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texties

Refers to people who don't have the balls to tell you something face to face so they text you instead.
People are considered texties when they break up with significant others via text and not in person.
by teezy22 October 6, 2009
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Textitis

A common sickness in which the sufferer will absolutely not text someone no matter how much they want to. It is usually caused by this person being afraid of what the response will be (usually from someone of the opposite sex).

Common excuses of the sufferer include but are not limited to: 'she is probably asleep', 'i'll text her later', 'i don't want to seem desperate', etc...

The most effective remedy for Textitis is to simply 'grow a pair'.

The most common effect of Textitis is extreme regret, low self-esteem, loneliness, and self-hatred.
"Dude, are you going to text her back or not?"
"No, I dont want to wake her up."
"Man, I think you have textitis."
"You're probably right. I dont know how to get rid of it though."
"The most effective treatment is to grow a pair. Or you can even purchase an artificial pair. I know a guy."
by freddy8289 March 2, 2010
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Textilepsy

When your phone is on vibrate and it goes off when there is no message or you have a lot of texts coming in at any given time.
My phone has textilepsy, it's vibrating more than a dildo having a seizure!
by Lila Tourenette December 12, 2010
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Textileptic

Someone who's phone is constantly on vibrate when they get a lot of texts; The owner of a phone that won't stop vibrating; someone who sends a lot of messages to other phones
Crystina's phone is constantly vibrating. She's such a textileptic.
by Lila Tourenette December 12, 2010
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Textidence

When you leave evidence via text message. anything that can get you in trouble or be used against you.
man, my girlfriend would have never caught me had i erased my textidence.

im gonna show the judge this textidence about you trying to murder me. =0>
by katmowlonie March 30, 2011
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