Textilepsy

When your phone is on vibrate and it goes off when there is no message or you have a lot of texts coming in at any given time.

My phone has textilepsy, it's vibrating more than a dildo having a seizure!

by Lila Tourenette December 12, 2010

textolepsy

Textolepsy (n) It's like narcolepsy, except the patient doesn't fall asleep, they lapse into a text conversation on their phone, suddenly losing all awareness of their surroundings. Typified by slumping shoulders, twiddling of thumbs, and a smartphone several inches from the patient's face. May occur in the middle of a conversation, during a meal, in class or, in severe cases, on stage during a community theater performance. Beware that patients suffering from this disorder are rarely aware that they are drifting away or how long they have been in "the texting place". Most patients believe that they were being totally nonchalant and that their frequent texting has gone completely unnoticed when in fact it's totally obvious to everybody.

Mary: Can you believe that the bride's maid was texting during the ceremony?

Jane: I know. How did she not know that everyone could see her? I felt so embarassed for her.

Mary: Maybe she was having one of those textoleptic episodes or something.

Jane: Whatever. Fucking textoleptic idiots.

Mary: Jane, I don't like it when you talk that way. Textolepsy is a serious disease.

Jane: I know that, Mary. I've never told you before, but my mother suffered from textolepsy. *sobs*

Mary: Uh-huh.

Jane: I've never told that to anyone...

Mary: Yeah.

Jane: ...but I trust you and you always listen so well and...

Mary: Uh-huh.

Jane: ...Mary?

Mary: Yeah.

Jane: Were you texting just now?

Mary: Oh, I was just replying to my friend who sent me a funny picture and...

Jane: YOU FUCKING TEXTOLEPTIC BITCH!

by vinnypod December 7, 2012

textiles

common name for the clothing 'locked'! i.e.-those who COULD NOT, and/or WOULD NOT; EVER 'bare their treasures' on the nude beach!!

he/she TERRIFIED of bare skin!!

the textiles were HORRIFIED! when the streaker ran across the baseball field.

judy was thrilled to leave the world of the textiles, during her first time on the nude beach!!

john had flesh colored swim trunks, complete with a hose, sack, and hairy triangle!, that TERRIFIED!! those on the textile beach!!

by michael foolsley October 30, 2011

Textolepsy

The condition that results in failure to stay awake during late night text conversations.

Guy 1: I was texting her last night, but she never responded.

Guy 2: Yeah, her textolepsy probably kicked in.

by mr.dk December 22, 2008

Textileptic

Someone who's phone is constantly on vibrate when they get a lot of texts; The owner of a phone that won't stop vibrating; someone who sends a lot of messages to other phones

Crystina's phone is constantly vibrating. She's such a textileptic.

by Lila Tourenette December 12, 2010

Status Textilepticus

When someone is triggered and begins to text impulsively out of anger and emotion.

Michael became upset because I slept with his mother and went full blown Status Textilepticus, when he started sending me messages.

by JayyTheOrc April 5, 2019