Teleshopping

Channels dedicated to pointless gadgets you will never need, unbelievably fake photoshopped images, patronizing rhetorical questions and the worst actors on the face of the earth.

Teleshopping:

**HEY! Are you a fat loser with no friends?**

Guy at home: No.

**Then you need,THE FAT-BUSTER-CARDIO-CRUNCHER-ABS-BUILDER-FRIEND-FINDER 3000! It was £300 but you can get now for just £299.99!
Just Call: 0800-IMAFATLOSERWITHNOFRIENDSANDNEEDTHEFATBUSTERCARDIOCRUNCHERABSBUILDERFRIENDFINDER3000PLS Terms and conditions apply batteries not included.**

by Ashleyy(: February 20, 2009

telescoping

to masturbate into a tube and then ejaculate through the tube into someones eye

i was banging this bird last night. grabbed a toilet roll tube and proceeded in some telescoping

by luvchild1 September 22, 2009

telesex

Telephone sex. Having sex with telephone.

I'm having telesex in the public telephone.

by SandaimeSpaceMan February 24, 2008

Telesto

A very popular fusion rifles from the game Destiny / Destiny 2. An iconic weapon that fires off tiny purple fireworks that explode after a short delay. Sort of like explosive diarrhea when you think its finally stopped. Players often like to rhyme the guns name with other words.

Person 1: Hey dude, what's your favorite fusion rifle?
Person 2: Telesto, its the besto.

by Atlas_975 October 10, 2018

telstra

Bad company, rip off telephone network. Shitty internet.

"The most secure computers in the world are ones NOT connected to the internet. That is why I recommend Telstra BigPond ADSL."

by Dylan June 26, 2004

Talus

Someones nick name. Most likely to be named that after giving good Head or a good fucking. And also most likely to have a very very large penis capable of pleasing the hottest of woman

Talus proved to me that his penis is very large and afterwards proved me that he could please me. So therefore i started calling him teloe

by _your_basic_shrek_lover November 13, 2014

telisification

an unexpected erection a man recieves that can't be explained it can only be that the unconscience mind is thinkin of Ms. Telis

Sam just got telisified during the process of telisification while looking at Ashley Homa

by $WAGG May 30, 2009