shit in my hands and clap

Sarcastic Reply.
when asked to do something unpleasant or tedious, this response sums up how horrid you think that task is- and you are not going to do it .

Teacher: Smith, can you help me to hand out these excercise books to the rest of the class?
Smith: no chance...I'd rather shit in my hands and clap. Sir.

by Mr Cunninglinguist August 20, 2013

shit clipper

The part of the anus that allows you to clip the shit from your rectum and have it fall in the toilet, on the floor, or in your pants if you couldn't hold it.

Yo, that bitch is such a slut she can take two cocks in her shit clipper at once!

by coke_doggy_dogg March 24, 2008

Shit House Polio

Conditon making one's legs shaky and unresponsive following moderate to long sessions sitting on a toilet.

I spent nearly an hour pushing that one out. With the worst case of shit house polio i can remember, it took me ten more minutes just to make it to the sink.

by Mustard King April 1, 2010

Eat shit , derek.

Quote from the movie Step Brothers. Should be said to every asshole you meet on a daily basis.

Slappy- " hurhurhur faggot , do you even lift?"

Intelligent, charismatic, caring young man- "Eat shit , derek."

Slappy-" ....my name is Slappy..."

by Mother Of All Fuck November 4, 2013

that shit's dingo

A catchphrase born from the brilliant mind of Rowan Bettjeman of Viva La Dirt League to describe something as being great and is a catchphrase that definitely exists.

"Is that keyboard working?"

"Yeah, it's working fine"

"Oh nice, that shit's dingo"

by The Guy Who Uses Funny Memes December 5, 2022

two-shit morning

Those mornings when your typical morning shit is just not enough. This situation arises most frequently after a night of heavy drinking or a late night burrito run.

In a typical two-shit morning, the second sequence arrives unexpectedly, making you late for work/class/court-ordered community service.

You: Sorry I'm late boss, I had one of the two-shit morning. You know how it goes.
Boss: Say no more. I was late too, also on account of a two-shit morning.

Check with your human resources office/principal/parole officer to make sure that a two-shit morning is recognized as a valid excuse for tardiness.

by DistinctDiffident February 8, 2018

pre-flight shit

A mandatory shit you take at the airport, before boarding the plane. Because you don't wanna drop a load in those cramped nasty-ass airplane bathrooms!

Hey Steve, I just took my required pre-flight shit. No way in hell I'm using the bathroom on the plane to drop my load!

by LonePooper February 1, 2018