When you feel a rumbling in your rectum but you'll never know if it's a fart or a poo until you "open the box" by which time the death mass has already been released. Thus, it exemplifies the graceful paradox of the traditional Schrödinger's Cat, yet manages at the same time to make it more accessible to the common person.
1. In order to fart you need to eat, but once you eat you might need to poo instead, so you never can be sure whether you're going to want to fart or poo. This is an eloquent summary of the tragic human condition which can be abbreviated to "Schrödinger's crap".
2. I can't decide whether I want to go to see Harry Potter or Casino Royale. I'll probably know after I sit down in the theater. It's a Schrödinger's crap.
2. I can't decide whether I want to go to see Harry Potter or Casino Royale. I'll probably know after I sit down in the theater. It's a Schrödinger's crap.
by gig4ls September 11, 2009
Get the Schrödinger's crap mug.If you had to display Schrödinger's emoticon it would be in a box to remain unobserved -> ⬜
If you were to look at it, it would have a determined, singular state.
If you were to look at it, it would have a determined, singular state.
by ZUUL42 October 9, 2014
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A variant on the famous "Schrodinger's Cat" thought exercise, which questions the living or dead status of a cat locked in a box with a randomly-released toxic gas.
In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.
Parameters:
1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out.
2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.)
3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern.
4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.
The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.
(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)
In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.
Parameters:
1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out.
2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.)
3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern.
4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.
The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.
(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)
HMB: Dude, you're walking funny.
HDT: I can't help it. I feel like I wanna fart, or maybe take a dump. But I can't figure out if I'm going to "gamble and lose". I feel like I'm touching cloth.
APLR: Wait, I have an answer. Your digestive system is entirely described by a single state function, "psi". For every observable, "A", there is a corresponding Hermitian Operator, "A^". The result of measuring "A" must be an eigenvalue of "A^". If such an operator has eigenvalue "a" and corresponding eigenstate "phi", then the probability of measuring "a" is the positive value of ("phi"|"psi") all squared. If the result of a measurement of "A" is "a", then the state of the system changes to the eigenstate "phi". Between measurements, "psi" evolves according to the Time-Dependent Schrodinger Equation.
HMB: ...
HDT: ...
APLR: What this means in layman's terms is that the state of your bowel movement cannot be independently observed without opening the system and releasing toxic gases. You have a Schrodinger's Crap situation.
HDT: ... and now I am touching socks.
HDT: I can't help it. I feel like I wanna fart, or maybe take a dump. But I can't figure out if I'm going to "gamble and lose". I feel like I'm touching cloth.
APLR: Wait, I have an answer. Your digestive system is entirely described by a single state function, "psi". For every observable, "A", there is a corresponding Hermitian Operator, "A^". The result of measuring "A" must be an eigenvalue of "A^". If such an operator has eigenvalue "a" and corresponding eigenstate "phi", then the probability of measuring "a" is the positive value of ("phi"|"psi") all squared. If the result of a measurement of "A" is "a", then the state of the system changes to the eigenstate "phi". Between measurements, "psi" evolves according to the Time-Dependent Schrodinger Equation.
HMB: ...
HDT: ...
APLR: What this means in layman's terms is that the state of your bowel movement cannot be independently observed without opening the system and releasing toxic gases. You have a Schrodinger's Crap situation.
HDT: ... and now I am touching socks.
by HMB September 13, 2009
Get the Schrodinger's Crap mug.A hypothetical cat that is simultaneously dead and alive because we don't know whether the nuclear particle has decayed or not, releasing the trigger that kills the cat. Used as an example that quantum mechanics is completely absurd when we look at it from a mundane perspective.
by inquilinekea July 3, 2005
Get the Schrodinger's Cat mug.Shode is a combination of sheep and chode, this word is used on those who have a small chubby penis (chode) and also follow others around thinking they are full cool or eshay. Shodes don't realise that everyone knows they have a small chode and just follow people around so they continue on thinking that they are liked by some.
Q: Yo bruv, what did that guy say to u?
A: Idk he is retard he called me a fat whale?? then his shode came up and like an absolute sheep said "yer u fat whale" then started doing this strange laugh like he was actually funny
Q: Hey girlfriend! this guy sent me a dp and he has such a chode and all he does is follow me around and agree to everything i say he is so weird
A: Wow what a shode
A: Idk he is retard he called me a fat whale?? then his shode came up and like an absolute sheep said "yer u fat whale" then started doing this strange laugh like he was actually funny
Q: Hey girlfriend! this guy sent me a dp and he has such a chode and all he does is follow me around and agree to everything i say he is so weird
A: Wow what a shode
by howsmartareyou November 7, 2017
Get the Shode mug.Shodiya a feisty beautiful girl with a heart of gold. Makes the best girlfriend out there. Always up to go dancing and impress you with her skills.
by Herdyherdyher July 29, 2018
Get the shodiya mug.When a woman takes two pregnancy tests with one coming up positive and the other negative. Until the woman can visit the doctor, she's both pregnant and not pregnant at the same time creating the comparison with Schrodinger’s Cat.
Kirsty: Great, two pregnancy tests with different results. I have Schrodinger’s Pregnancy here, baby and no baby at the same time.
by WatcherMark May 23, 2019
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