lap lumber

an erection, an erect male penis, boner

"I was at the strip club, watching the girls, picking up a load of lap lumber"

by thetommeister November 08, 2008

Lumber up

The act of getting a penile erection.

'Hey Bob, this road kill... its still warm!'

'Time to lumber up boy!'

'Bob, this roadkill...its still warm!'
'Lumber up boy! Time to become a man!'

by Bearforce1 December 18, 2014

Lumber-sexual

One who identifies as flannel wearing hipster with a perfect beard and/or mustache with incredibly soft hands that have never held an axe, other than axe body spray.

While in Placerville Logan in his flannel, beard oil, American eagle ripped jeans and multiple rings was on a mission to find some gluten free tacos to enjoy, when someone called out "hey we don't take kindly to you lumber-sexual kinds around here!"

by Mr. C. Hustle June 30, 2021

Lumber Nuts

hitting yourself in the nuts with your own hard on.

Tom, " Bro i just got a case of Lumber nuts."
Brian, " that sucks man."

by Bandana Raburn September 14, 2011

slumbering lumber

a dick that won't get hard

Me - Adam suffers from slumbering lumber even when he isn't drinking.
Jack - He should really see a doctor. They have pills for that now

by docwhoomph July 12, 2010

lumber muffin

n. muffin shaped penis, which at full erection is hard as wood or "lumber". (other definition) n. human feces that is a cause of eating a "Denny's lumber jack slam" with the combination of a muffin.

first example: girl say's to sexual partner "ow! i can't fit that lumber muffin."
2nd example: "dude... i ate at Denny's and had a muffin it took me 30min. to shit that lumber muffin."

by J3z December 14, 2010

lumber jack

Lumber Jacking is when you eat something (no matter the size) in a single bite.

I bet you twenty dollars you can't lumber jack that steak!

by Alex Otto November 01, 2007