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couldn't find his dick in the dark

Someone who is oblivious, has declining mental facilities, or is simply stupid and cannot recognize obvious things or cannot take on simple tasks.
It's no surprise he gave that gold digger his ATM pin number--he's so dumb he couldn't find his dick in the dark.
by Marcoda December 9, 2011
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couldn't catch shit in a diaper

1. An athlete who simply cannot catch the ball

2. A fisherman who has suffered through a rough day on the seas with nothing to show for his effort.

3. A guy who has absolutely no chance of succeeding in landing a girl when he hits the club at night.
1. Dwayne tracked the ball well enough, but since he couldn't catch shit in a diaper, he dropped the ball.

2. James couldn't catch shit in a diaper, and now his family has nothing to eat tonight.

3. Pat weighs in at about 350 pounds, so he couldn't catch shit in a diaper at the 9:30 Club.
by Joe Sam December 15, 2015
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we could’ve been superstars

meaning that if you didn’t go against me, we could’ve been turnt up together. deriving from Super Gremlin by Kodak Black, he reminisces on the betrayal of a close friend and what could have been if that friend was solid.
“Damn my nigga you trippin we could’ve been superstars!”
by 1of1 December 25, 2021
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if i could fly

that one direction song that two gay girls sing to each other, because that song defines their relationship and means the world to them because they are endlessly in love with each other
if i could fly i'd be coming right back home to you
by gayvodka November 17, 2018
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He-could-go...all...the...way!

This is mainly expressed exactly like it's spelled when a football player with the football breaks open during a rush or after making a reception or interception aka pick or fumble recovery for a touchdown, especially after a long run.
EXAMPLE: This is mainly heard during the football recaps on ESPN by Chris Berman. After the football player with the ball get by the main stream of tacklers and get closer and closer to the endzone, that's when Chris is feeling it and say "He-could-go...all...the...way! And he does." But if he runs out of bounds or gets tackled, Chris will respond with "but he doesn't."
by Mr. Terrence L. Trezvant January 8, 2009
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I could eat a knob at night

Said first by Karl Pilkington- a fantastic idiot with a head like an orange- in conversation on The Ricky Gervais Show podcast about 'I'm a celebrity get me out of here' and a celebrity eating a kangaroo penis.
Ricky: "So what're you saying??"
Karl: "I'm saying...I could eat a knob at night."
by Auntie Nora November 16, 2007
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I couldn't care less

A phrase that emphasises the lack of care for something or someone. Often mistaken as 'I could care less'.
David: Quick Bert! Muffles the kitten ate some mothballs, and now it's foaming out it's mouth; WE NEED TO GOTO A VET!

Bert: I couldn't care less about your God-Damned Cat right now.
by SeanJohn August 3, 2006
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