Calculator Gremlins 

The gremlins inside the calculator that solve the math problems

Texas Instruments has recently captured and employed 100,000 more calculator gremlins to entrap in the latest model of the TI-84+CE

Calculator Gremlins by Cheeseburger America Man May 6, 2023

Congressional Calculator 

The Congressional Calculator is much like Obamanomics, it's calculations that don't add up in the real world yet people buy into strictly based on the source of the info. The Congressional Calculator is used anytime things don't quite add up but fits the agenda du jour. It's like adding 2+2 and getting minus 4 billion.

"Great news! Government Healthcare just passed which should decrease the deficit by about 2 Trillion!!" "ah, I love the Congressional Calculator, I'm gonna go buy a new 'vette."

Congressional Calculator by dirtykurty September 8, 2010

Sicilian calculator

Slang for a gun. Usually a shotgun. Calculator because it only subtracts.

Tony found out that John was an FBI informant, so he paid him a visit with his Sicilian calculator.

Sicilian calculator by blackrazr November 2, 2006

Young Calculator 

The highest status that a human can earn. A young calculator is highly respected anywhere they go.

That khed is an absolute young calculator

Young Calculator by HitYourShots April 18, 2018

I need a calculator 

An office phrase roughly translated to "I need a bailout or rescue." Something awful is happening to the person who has given you this message, and it's your responsibility to bail them out. Situations in which this phrase is appropriate:

- An office camper has left the original intended topic for some light-hearted small talk about his child you hate
- An office camper with horrid breath has pinned you
- You're in a meeting that's so boring you will have to snort coke off a stripper's chesticles to balance your life back in the right direction

The message generally arrives in the form of text or instant message. When the situation is dire, email may be used. The appropriate response is generally to come up with technical nonsense to ask this person then either call or visit to bail them out.

Office Camper: "Enough about linux, did you know my child is an honor's student? She's taking all AP classes in the Spring. God we're so proud of her ... "
Jim (Victim) text messages Vince (Savior) "I need a calculator" to avoid nosy eyes understanding this dire message.
Office Camper: "She even taught some of the other children in the class how to use it! Can you believe that? Even the teacher was impressed"
Savior: "Hey Jim! Listen I need some help with linux..."
Office Camper: "Oh well I can see you're busy"

I need a calculator by Fatty Tatterson September 10, 2009

Crush Calculator 

You're having a laugh if you think I'm putting my mobile number into that, mate.

Laughing, I proceeded to fill in the Crush Calculator until asked for my mobile phone number. Panicked, I rushed headlong to my Cookies folder and deleted the contents therein forthwith.

Crush Calculator by Pingoir January 2, 2009

desmos graphing calculator

The most innovative calculator on the market. Prioritized my Mr. Asta and picked up by Gabrielle Zappia. Mr. asta has a cat named buster that he likes to smooch on zoom calls.

Lets plug this into desmos graphing calculator class.

desmos graphing calculator by Cathe The Hoe October 15, 2020