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I’d give my left nut to… 

I’d give my left nut to… — one of the larger hyperbolic lies men tell to express an acquisitive faux passion.

I don’t know any men who would actually give up their left nut for any reason! But, I and a lot of men I know have said this at least once in our lifetime — usually expressing a desire in an arena where loosing a nut would be counter productive.

Well…no one ever said hyperbole was logical.

Any why the left nut?

Is the right nut biologically more powerful; do testicles work like kidneys where one is more dominant?

Most poetic expression falls apart when subjected to even a little scrutiny.

So no — we would not REALLY give up our left nut. That’s just some hyperbolic shit to say!!!!
The expression “ I’d give my left nut to…” used in a context to illustrate its usage:

I’d give my left nut to to have sex with Sydnee Sweeny and give her brumski .
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If…were a person 

“If…were a person” is a catch all formulaic phrase designed to foreground the actions of a person as so definitive that their picture should be found under the definition of the word or phrase.

If used correctly the verb “to be” used in the sentence should be conjugated in the English Subjunctive tense because it presupposes a condition that does not actually exist preceded by the word: “if”.

Any number of colorful phrases can be used to complete this word formula. The only limit is the imagination of the observer.
Correct ways of using the formula: “If…were a person.”

If “cock blocking” were a person it would look like Joe Manchin vs.Biden’s attempts at legislation.

If “too soon” were a person it would look like Pete Davidson sending a selfie to Kanye West from Kim Kardashian’s bed after smashing.

This…is my Jesus 

This…is my Jesus is a flexibly productive ejaculation describing any person; event; timing, or situation P.E.T.S that nurtures a person as he or she experiences a tremendous personal growth spurt while maximizing their human potential. For some people it may actually be Jesus; but for others it could be a city; a person; love; a drug; a mystical experience; or a damn good burger with all the fixings. The use of this saying is very individually driven. Often usages of this saying conflict. It takes balls to use this expression publicly..
Here are some examples of how to use “This…is my Jesus” in a sentence:

Man eating a Fat Burger:”Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, this burger is my Jesus!”
Offended friend sitting with him: FOOL!!!!!! “Jesus is my Jesus”.

Man smoking particularly good Hawaiian Kona Kush exhaling and saying: “This Kush is my Jesus.”

A single man spending a month in Amsterdam overlooking the canal: “This city is my Jesus.”

I’m just speaking in general… 

I’m just speaking in general… — a story telling tactic used by old southern people when they are actually reading you from head to toe; inside and out; and from womb to tomb. In many ways, this is worse than if they put both feet in your ass and yelled at you about your folly.

“I’m just speaking in general” has four parts: a detailed summary of your past character; a current analysis of your present actions based on things you did as a child; a detailed outcome of you actions based on probability and having seen your story played out in other people’s lives that they have seen with their own eyes; and, an admonition to change your ways if you don't want to end up like the person they are just “speaking in general about.
Boy, I ain’t got no hang ups; I’m too old to have hang ups. Hang ups is for young people — I’m just speaking in general… Oh I knew a boy like you: he was hard headed when he was a baby and he’s head headed now. You know what they say about hard headed people: A HARD HEAD MAKES A SOFT ASSSSSSSSSSS!!!! I’m just speaking in general. But, if you don’t want to end up like that; you better change your ways!!!!!!!!!

They’re coming to get you, Donnie… 

They’re coming to get you Donnie…— a battle cry for Trump opponents based on the famous line from the movie Night of the Living Dead: “They’re coming to get you, Barbara”.

And, “they” were.

In the movie the dead were being mysteriously reanimated and pursuing the living to eat them alive. In Trump’s case, antics and events thought long dead are being reanimated and returning to bite Trump’s spray tanned orange ass; and to eat him alive.

April 4th 2023 is the historic day when the zombie cases returned from the dead to visit an undead plague upon DONALD J. TRUMP’S political campaign and life.

But, we have to beware of the sequel: Dawn of the Trump based on the movie Dawn of the Dead, a movie that had the tag line: “When there is no more room in hell; the dead will walk the earth”.

The Trump version of that tag line is: “If there is no more room in hell, The Orange Man could walk into the White House…again.”

May he’ll have several vacancies!
All of the dirt you did is catching up with you Dolt ‘45, there are a lot of pending cases in your future: They’re coming to get you, Donnie…

It just all adds up… 

It just all adds up… — The perfect ending to a really sad and bad story. The often “too late” realization that out actions are cumulative and quite binding.

If you have ever asked someone how they ended up in a particularly bad situation and the answer is “ It just all adds up…”; then, that person is facing a situation that from which no doctor, lawyer, judge, jury, friend, or priest can extricate them.

It’s time to face the music and dance; and pay those consequences.

This statement Is often rapidly followed by : “Only god can judge me!”

Which may or may not be true — if god is actually all Love and Forgiveness.

But, we certainly judge ourselves; and, moments where “it just all adds up” cause us to momentarily reflect on both our lives and our actions.
Police: …But how did you end up killing 12 gang members; 2 innocent witnesses/bystanders; a pit bull; and an exotic South American parrot in a cage.

Perpetrator: I just shot everyone and everything I saw; and, pandemonium broke out in me; It just all adds up…well…ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME!!!!!!!