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Monkey News

A cult classic radio/podcast feature on "The Ricky Gervais Show", in which Karl Pilkington tells Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant a ludicrous story about some monkey(s), which is always equally retarded and hilarious.
"Ooh, CHIMPFANCY THAT it's monkey news ya fuckigrrrcnt..."

"He drove to Spain"

"DON'T TALK SHIT"
by hans_chavez June 5, 2024
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monkey dust

Monkey dust is also known as MDPV and comes as an off-white powder which can be swallowed, injected or snorted in UK
'Monkey dust': What is the drug 'causing a public health crisis' that induces hallucinations, paranoia and dulls sensitivity to pain?
by masterworks October 23, 2020
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sea monkey

a stupid sounding person or if someone has a bad stutter.
" he was such a sea monkey when he spoke"
by rickadoi January 13, 2023
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Monkey

This is the most fashionable creature to walk the earth.

monkeh...
dude, that monkey is totally stylish!
by childofthe_k0rn January 11, 2024
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Argyle Monkey

This word is used to describe someone who is cringe, unfunny, and not very smart. However, the argyle monkey has a legendary backstory.

The Argyle Monkey is a truly dreadful and wretched creature, feared by those few who have heard of it. Its existence is both a curse and a mystery, as few have encountered it and lived to tell the tale. This creature, with its grotesque features and unsettling presence, lurks in the darkest corners of forgotten forests and abandoned ruins, where even the bravest dare not venture.

The Argyle Monkey’s most distinguishing feature is its fur, a bizarre, patchwork blend of argyle patterns—sharp diamonds of vibrant colors that seem almost too bright, as if to mock the eyes of anyone unlucky enough to behold them. The fur itself seems to shift in hue, constantly changing as if woven from the very threads of chaos itself. The effect is disorienting, leaving those who look at it too long dizzy and unsure of what they’re seeing. Some claim the creature’s fur is enchanted, acting like a hypnotic pattern that draws its prey closer until it's too late to escape.
by qrinni_hater69420 March 26, 2025
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Monkey

To act unevolved or to say things that are illogical or stupid. Not to be confused with racist definition of “monkey”.
that was stupid asf your such a monkey.
by imabbq May 21, 2021
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Monkey Sanchez

When you have mokeypox, you rub the rash and deploy it on your partner as you would for a dirty sanchez. After a couple of days, the rash will show thus completing the Monkey Sanchez.
Guy 1: “Dude, see Her rash? I just gave her the Monkey Sanchez!”
Guy 2: “totally freaking sick bro!”
by TimKennedyFan69 June 20, 2022
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