Skip to main content

Jared

A drunken simp with a tiny dick who doesnt take no for an answer. he gets no bitches, but he has nice hair. the kinda dude who will send you some lil peep at 3 am cuz hes simping over the fact that you dont want him
ohoh Jared is fucked up and about to ruin everyone's night again
by anonymous April 3, 2022
mugGet the Jared mug.

Jared

So easy to love yet so hard to beat in a fight. Big kid, big personality, big talent, big ego. Confidence radiates stronger than the sun. Don’t know why every girl couldn’t go after Jared. Usually has a really hot girlfriend who’s out of his league, but he only uses that to make himself more confident. Who wouldn’t love him?
by Anonymous21166 January 11, 2022
mugGet the Jared mug.

Jared

A gamer boy who is into older women, loves to watch anime, and has a big dick. He thinks he is funny, but is only funny because he laughs at himself. Has big muscles and is very strong basically a hot stud.
Jared has a massive dick.
by usswidowmaker5 January 25, 2022
mugGet the Jared mug.

Jared

This person will make you feel the lightest you’ve ever felt ever! Like a skinny skinny feather. Jared’s are unapologetic and charming with a fantastical sense of humor. He cherishes his friends and treats them like absolute guido/guidette royalty! Obsessed with gorillas and getting sticky and shaking ass.
Jared can simply whip the piss.
by Definedinmylanguage February 2, 2022
mugGet the Jared mug.

Jared

Jared is the best buddy you could ever have, he no doubt has a cool car with a pathetic horn, lives with his mum, he lives of cigarettes and Mountain Dew!! He’s so cool that he wears sun glasses all day and all night, inside, outside it doesn’t matter with out them he just isn’t the same, and can’t see…
Hey you know that guy Jared? The sweaty boy, that drinks Mountain Dew like water? Yeah he’s so cool, the best bud ever! I wish I had a BFF like Jared.
by The most Methical Unicorn ever February 16, 2022
mugGet the Jared mug.

Jared

Jared is always the name of a doomsday cult leader. Jared is, contrary to most cult leaders, a snivelling goblin man, who has somehow amassed a large following. He is usually accompanied by 2-3 bodyguards carrying weapons of some kind - in some cases, Jared will needlessly kill one of the bodyguards for some fucking reason.

In terms of appearance, Jareds often lack shirts (though they occasionally wear jackets), and have either scars or tattoos. They are rarely overly muscular, often having pathetic arms.
Fucking Jared.
"It is I, Jared, the exalted leader of the Order of The Sun."
"..."
"Fucking Jared."
by piss boy jr February 19, 2022
mugGet the Jared mug.

Jared Ellis

To humiliate someone by rejecting them publicly
Person 1: “Eww I don’t want him to bring me flowers

Person 2: “Jared Ellis his ass!!”
by Keeks maleeks February 25, 2022
mugGet the Jared Ellis mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email