Skip to main content

Jesus Moment

When an absolute dumbass creates an incredibly bullshit excuse to not do something.

(Not Jesus as in the son of god, but the mexican name Jesus)
Jesus: I can't turn in my work, the site is down!
Person 1: Jesus moment
by edp4452 January 8, 2022
mugGet the Jesus Momentmug.

Jesus Faist

A cultish fake religion created by theatre brats where participants worship Michael Faist.
"Sacrifice that little child over there for our lord and savor Jesus Faist"
by WhinnieDaPotatoSalad January 18, 2021
mugGet the Jesus Faistmug.

Jesus Lunge

During a Halo 2 or Halo 3 multiplayer game, one player melee lunges an unreasonably far distance to get a kill.
That guy Jesus Lunged me from halfway across the map!!!!!!!
by andoveroe January 14, 2008
mugGet the Jesus Lungemug.

jesus devil

An outwardly cool guy who is actually psychotic. In Irish folklore, a demon with the same charisma as Jesus Christ.
He's such a jesus devil: four girls pregnant simultaneously; three seperate court appearances---'break and enter', 'make an officer of the law look like a suckrod', 'carnal knowledge of a horse'. Plus next week, he auditions as a game show host.
by joethelion January 16, 2009
mugGet the jesus devilmug.

Bathing with Jesus

A phrase used to counter complete and utter bullshit. Used to call out someone's lie without stating the obvious. Passive-aggressive in nature.
Weaselly friend: (On the phone, obviously home alone geeking out to the commentary on his recently purchased Battlestar Galactica special edition box set) Hey man, I'm throwing a sick party. Gonna be a ton of chicks.

You: Sorry man, I'm busy bathing with Jesus.
by MG Lambo June 12, 2014
mugGet the Bathing with Jesusmug.

Jesus chords

The basic major and minor chord shapes, as generally played on an acoustic guitar. They are commonly referred to as the 'Jesus chords' simply because they make up the majority of Christian worship music. Singer/songwriters are also well-known for playing these chords frequently in their music.

A guitarist who is only playing 'Jesus chords' (and not using a capo) will rarely, if ever, move his hand past the 4th fret.

Major chords:
E, F (barre), G, A, C, and D major

Minor chords:
E and A minor, B minor (movable), and barre chords that don't include the 3rd finger (movable)
I can kinda play guitar...well, I know the Jesus chords, at least.
by tenortoad July 18, 2012
mugGet the Jesus chordsmug.

jesus seizure

going into a religious based seizure that was seemingly induced by some kind of preacher, but is really the persons own doing. check out benny hinn on youtube, or that movie jesus camp.

The term can also be used when someone is buggin' out over something trivial
"what kind of church is this? pastor is knockin people out, givin everyone jesus seizures"
or
"damn dude, frank is buggin out about his girl. he's straight up havin a jesus seizure, lettin that holy spirit out"
by mkultraWUD August 30, 2011
mugGet the jesus seizuremug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email