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first wank

For some, the most important date in their sexual life history. Often connected to naked Claudia Schiffer, Sharon Stone or some other now elderly celeb. Usually celebrated with a long masturbation session.
Oh, today is the 20th anniversary of my first wank! I have to find a copy of Basic Instinct to celebrate it!

A: When did you lose your virginity, dude?
B: Hmmm, I can't tell you that. I can tell you about my first wank.
A: But you're 30 man...oh my goodness...
by Satan's Cock May 14, 2008
mugGet the first wankmug.

Wank in the bank

To masturbate prior to a date where you are pretty sure you will get a shag. Having already ejaculated some hours before, the shag lasts its maxmum time
Anne was hot, good job I had a wank in the bank or I would have blown my load before she even got her knickers off
by Slipstream222 August 11, 2008
mugGet the Wank in the bankmug.

Batty wank

To masterbate only through stimulation of the anus and rectum (i.e. The arse)
by Jason Rainbow October 3, 2006
mugGet the Batty wankmug.

wank paddock

the wank paddock was full of trucks with the curtains closed.
in the middle of the day.
by decembeard December 10, 2012
mugGet the wank paddockmug.

flop wank

He couldn't get it up, so he had a flop wank and hoped for the best.
by Ryem May 2, 2016
mugGet the flop wankmug.

Shank and Wank

When you're killing a person via shanking and your jacking off in the process.
Did you hear about McSplooge committing his 455th murder. I heard he did the shank and wank technique.
by Jascebalon July 9, 2016
mugGet the Shank and Wankmug.

Dangerous wank

The act of sending ones housemate out to Tesco's to buy chocolate, muffins and wine in order to masturbate, naked in the middle of the living room, hoping that you can finish and redress yourself before they return home.
Margaret: What did you get up to last night?

Glynis: I had a dangerous wank whilst Brian popped to the shop for a pint of milk and some fishermans friends.

Margaret: Ooh, that sounds like fun.

Glynis: Yes, it was delightful.
by slapyourstick October 14, 2011
mugGet the Dangerous wankmug.

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