Thomas Crewe-Read

Stupid bitch with weird teeth and weird hair that likes to watch small children. He often goes to state school playgrounds in recess with a high-zoom camera and films them going down the slide. He likes it deep.

Parent 1: “Thomas Crewe-Read is here! Fucking protect your kids”

Parent 2: “Damn straight, ni, get that creepy bastard fat 🥷🏿 out of this shithole!”

by SlipperySloshy January 16, 2023

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Gossip Read

Used when relating possibly non-factual information you read somewhere.

I gossip read that the Microsoft layoffs are mostly in the marketing department.

by HeyEbeth January 18, 2023

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Sandwich-reading

The process of reading the first and last chapter of a book, and then writing an essay about what you think the books insides are.

Educated guesswork using online summary sources are also a viable method of completing sandwich-reading.

I didn't read that book. I was only sandwich-reading it to make sure key points got introduced. I couldn't read the whole thing since I was too busy.

by Somegregoryguy January 23, 2023

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read the article

three words commonly used as cannon fire against someone who didn't read the article, and you feel the need to destroy them because you're a vengeful bitch.

Tom: Steven Tyler is innocent until proven guilty. Too many celebs getting railroaded or canceled because of these accusations!

Kelli: well, like, duh. Like, if you would just read the article, you'd know that he admitted to it in his autobiography!

by GG Allin February 2, 2023

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