Helping the Hairless Hound Steal the Nuts from the Withered Old Man by the Stinkhole

The longest ever metaphor for masturbation.

As seen in the upcoming film, the Dark Show

Rob: Why is there vaseline in your glove box?
Roy: I use it at stop lights.
Rob: Use it for what?
Roy: I got a spare couple of minutes, might as well spend it by Helping the Hairless Hound Steal the Nuts from the Withered Old Man by the Stinkhole.
Rob: Is that supposed to mean jerking off.
Roy: If you want to be crude about it, then yes, you fucking cunt.

by theDarkShow October 23, 2010

helpfullated

Describes the feeling of relaxation and satisfaction that comes from a technical support representative who solves your problem in a prompt and friendly manner. As most experiences with technical support leave one feeling like they've just been anally raped, an actual good experience can be a pleasant surprise that really makes their day, much like fellatio.

When my internet went down, I called the cable company. I was only on hold for a minute! The TSR was so friendly and asked about my kids while running diagnostics. In five minutes my problem was fixed and I was back online! I feel like I've just been helpfullated.

by Neeperando June 22, 2009

Help

I’ve been held captive, please help me

Seriously, HELP

by ThoseDamnCats August 1, 2019

Helpless

It's when a person like me has some serious problems, romantically, at least.

aka when you have daddy issues and are always talking about how much you wanna fuck Gee Way.

Alexis: geez, what's up with you and crushing on people 3x your age? He's 42, and you're barely 14!!

Helena: sorry, I guess I'm helpless

by Foxy Like A Badger October 7, 2019

Help Indians use toilets

Due to failure in convincing people to use toilets in India, the project to teach them how to use and why it's better than open defecation starts.

Help Indians use toilets. They should have better sanitation.

by Shiine-1 April 14, 2022

sturdy helper

A petite woman who willingly assists with condom placement, then welcomes the full weight of her lover to be placed atop her, despite her stature.

Man: "Thanks for helpin' me with the rubber." Woman: "No problem, I'm a helper, you know." Man (on top of Woman): "Am I squishing you?" Woman: "No, I'm right sturdy."
...a sturdy helper.

by Deck Talker March 3, 2007

DMV helpful

A customer service representative, server or any other service worker who is just helpful enough to get by.

I called the cable company to ask about my bill.
Were they helpful?
Yeah...DMV helpful! I was on for 40 minutes and I still don't have HBO.

by MelMomma March 13, 2010