jump the couch

Anything related to bumsex.

<While in prison>
Convict A: Oooh, see him 'n his tight little ass?
Convict B: Yeah, player. Dats so hawt.
Convict A: He best watch himself and that cute little behind. Or I'ma jump his couch.

<Two people talking>

Tom: Man, Vanessa is goin' to come over tonight.
Tim: Yeah? You finally gonna hit that?
Tom: Yeah, she and I were talking. She said I could jump the couch with her.

by MonkeyStomp January 2, 2006

Jump the couch

refering to Tom Cruise's display of affection for Katie holmes. Meaning, did something stupid or idiotic

My friend benny just jumped the couch and had sex with my sister!

by Von Beckie September 5, 2005

couch cock

Couch cock is where your cock and balls are in the reverse order, your balls resting on top of your cock. Couch cock is usually the result of sitting on the couch too much.

Dude I heard Janice has couch cock.

Man he should just kill himself now.

by bluedawg313 April 22, 2008

burst couch

1.n. Someone or something which serves absolutley no purpose what so ever.

2.n. Someone with nothing to do

Same as empty tracksuit

1. You can't even wire a plug you burst couch

2. My friends didn't show so I was left kicking round the town center like a burst couch.

by Da Zeg January 8, 2005

Couch Cleaner

When she licks the cum off of your couch after giving you head.

Dude Naomi is my Couch Cleaner

by DieselDude December 3, 2017

white couch

the prized piece of furniture that nobody is allowed to sit on

Jerry: "Hey buddy, lay down here until those pain killers wear off."

William: "Not on the white couch ! My wife wouldn't like that."

by Margin Monkey #1 March 17, 2011

couch gravity

couch gravity is when you're being lazy all day long and can't get off the couch.

Hey mate, how about some soccer today?
Sorry but I can't. The couch gravity takes hold of me, it is too strong. perhaps another day.

by fierle franz May 1, 2010