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Garage Monkey

A man who sits in his garage and drinks beer and smokes cigarettes all day and night while watching some form of sporting event or the weather channel.
Neighbor A: Hey, what do you think Bryan is doin'?

Neighbor B: Oh, that garage monkey is probably passed out with a cigarette in his hand!

Neighbor A: Yea, we better not go over there, he might shoot us with his 100 year old rifle!!

Neighbor B: I'd bet he'd shoot his own foot though!
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African Street Monkey

Something that lives in your homes, eats your wifes carpet, and steals your tv, car(s), and whatever else they can manage to get into their oversized pants. These creatures are also referred to as a negro, or black person.
Mother why is that monkey down the street have his pants to his ankles? Mom: because African Street Monkeys use that as a mating ritual to attract other African Street Monkeys, and also to ward off other possible male mates. If you notice this behaviour darling call animal control and look in the other direction.
by obviously not white July 28, 2013
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son of a monkey

An expression of exasperation meant to express this feeling while simultaneously leaving the uninitiated with a sense of confusion.
"Son of a monkey! I can't believe he just said/did/ate that!"
by Storm Crow June 10, 2005
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monkey mind

Meditation term for a mind that refuses to be quiet and concentrated, so that your meditation is interfered with by your attention constantly finding new objects, like a monkey roaming through your brain.
If I concentrate very quietly I am sure I can think of an example, such as I wonder if Sandra wears panties in the summer?, no I mean an example of monkey mind, for which I need to concentrate like lemon juice concentrate god that's the best stuff for making lemonade to families with dependent children like monkeys infesting the mind and asking questions authority and authorizes questions come on there has to be an example of monkey mind your own business monkey business suit monkey suit
by old lang guy October 17, 2006
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monkey love

Crazy animalistic sex requiring acrobatic poise... can also be termed monkey lovin'.
When the doctor asked how I sprained my back I replied, "from all the monkey lovin' last night... uNF!!!!!!!!!!!"
by BaNgaia April 19, 2005
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monkey-hammer

To figuratively smash an idea, policy, or program, etc, in a furious and animated fashion. Wildly flail a thing or idea with reckless abandon and little apparent purpose.
He proceeded to monkey hammer her presentation, point by point, until the she was reduced to tears.

The Federal Reserve appears willing to monkey-hammer interest rates so low, and for so long, even the most dedicated savers will finally give up in exasperation.
by flemsnopes September 5, 2018
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pebis monkey

A baboon that eats extremely small penises. See pebis.
Don't let the pebis monkey out of its cage, it might attack that asian man!
by Dave Burnside November 7, 2007
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