The Douchebag Theory 

The answer to why girls always date douchebags. It usually starts from a young age, when a boy is mean to a girl, the girl goes home and cries to her mom, her mom then says "it's okay, it's just because he likes you", the girl is then happy with that answer and moves on with life thinking everytime a guy is an ass to her, it just means they like her, she goes on thinking that until she is old enough to date guys, and then she proceeds to ask the biggest douchebag out, and that explains how all the assholes get hot girls.

The douchebag theory, the answer to everything.

The Douchebag Theory by itzadolfin!! June 6, 2011

Schrödinger's Douchebag

A guy who says offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him.

Watch out, Susie! That guy is Schrödinger's Douchebag, he’ll trap you in a thought-experiment without your consent!

Schrödinger's Douchebag by Sickomonster December 24, 2020

Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem 

The sociological rule that one person wearing a fedora in a larger group may be stylistically unique, but two or more people wearing a fedora in a larger group renders every person in that group a douchebag.

Check it out - another fedora. What a douchebag.

No, wait - if it was just that one dude it might be cool, but two of his bros are wearing them too. According to the Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem, all five of them are douchebags.

Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem by CreditToJoe August 19, 2010

Schrödinger's Douchebag

A guy who says offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him.

Any website that lacks effective moderation and allows some level of anonymity will, to varying degrees, approxomate 4chan, and be overrun with Schrödinger's Douchebags. Now this type of person defends, for instance, rape-jokes by saying "all humor is inherently punching down because there must be a butt to every joke." He hasn't thought about it. he assumes it's true because he figures "(he's) a smart guy, and whatever (he) assumes is probably right", but he's unfazed if you prove otherwise. There's no shortage of dodgy reasons he might be right and you wrong. He'll just pick another one. What matters is the game continues.

-- Innuendo Studios example of Schrödinger's Douchebag, "The Alt-Right Playbook: The Card Says Moops"

Schrödinger's Douchebag by The Logical Fallacy February 3, 2019

total douchebag 

A jerkoff who has no redeeming value left at all.
An asshole who has surpassed all the limits of assholery.
A douchebag who has sunk to lowest level of douchebaggery.
A lowlife who richly deserves a severe ass beating for soiling the planet with his existance.

That total douchebag has screwed me over good this time!

total douchebag by jsd9632 April 20, 2012

Corporate Douchebag Speak 

The typical jargon used by corporate executives completely out of touch with the peons actually doing the work. Will refer to six sigma, core values, team effort, denominators, profit sharing etc. Meanwhile they are clueless as to how real world operations occur.

Mark the new CEO came in and gave the all-hands meeting a company overview. Unfortunately it was just a bunch of Corporate Douchebag Speak. He's off to Hawaii while I'm pulling OT.

Corporate Douchebag Speak by GodzilllavsMothra February 22, 2014

arrogant douchebag 

A person who is far too cocky, vain, over-prided, delusional, and happy and often considers themselves much more better than other people by many things, some obvious, some more subtle.

Jack is a real arrogant douchebag

arrogant douchebag by Mr. TrollStone August 1, 2012