tambourine jesus

always keep a tambourine handy boyo, you never know when you need one

I was talking to tambourine jesus yesterday hes really cool and has a tambourine.

by GFMS_bnad June 29, 2020

Jesus Bitch

1. A girl who is in love with Jesus to an extreme to where she is really fucking annoying. 2. A girl who constantly attends church, but is a total slut. 3. A girl that knows more about dick and Jersey Shore than she does about her own religion. 4. A girl who's idea of God is about as empty and shallow as her vagina.

I'm going to punch that Jesus Bitch in the face if she doesn't shut up!" "Go hump a bible like your man-whore, Jesus Bitch!" "I bet the Jesus Bitch would suck cock for the offering."

by churchpeopleareannoying April 25, 2011

jesus year

The 33rd year of your life where you are reborn in some sense. Perhaps a mid-life crisis, perhaps an ego death, perhaps the year where you abandon old ways and start new .... or perhaps you were affixed to a cross and came out the other side a spiritual figure that historians, theologians, worshipers and dissenters make the subject of many a conversation.

"When I turned 33 I quit my job, went broke, then changed my diet, started rebuilding my credit and followed my passion. Yep, that was definitely my Jesus year."

by trickynek August 6, 2014

Segway Jesus

Person with Jesus like qualities (long hair, sandals, beard) who floats around from place to place on a segway, no matter how close or far away the destination may be. Typically embraces their own resemblance to Jesus.

Hey, check it out. It's a segway Jesus on his way to the mail center.

by Segway Jesus Observer March 20, 2009

Jesus bar

The handle found directly above the seats of most motor vehicles. May or may not be retractable. It's primary use is to be gripped as the passenger prays, swears, or screams.

He grabbed the Jesus bar as she took the car on two wheels.

by schizoartist October 26, 2004

Jesus Murphy

Canadian Jesus Christ. Meant to be said as an expletive.

What time is it? Jesus Murphy, I’m late!

Sue screams Jesus Murphy after she see’s a spider. She’s a total arachnophobe.

I like saying Jesus Murphy instead of using the lords name in vain.

by Kaizo64 September 1, 2018

Jesus Driver

A person who drives like a asshole, with a religious radio station sticker or logo on the car.

That Jesus driver just cut me off.

by vwsurf August 15, 2009