Weird as a monkey's beard

When something is just too weird, and the only way to describe it is that of a beard attached to a monkeys face.

Can you believe Shangela eats sofa cushions on the reg? That's weird as a monkey's beard!

by Dr. Hand May 22, 2024

monkey arse

When your bumhole is bright red and very sore/lacerated from excessive bouts of wiping.

Oh blimey, I wish I hadn’t had that vindaloo. I’ve got a terrible case of monkey arse.

Believed to have been forst coined by Ed Elliot in a Wetherspoons in Exeter. ‘I can’t eat that. I’ve got a terrible case of monkey arse.’

by SwissMinty December 27, 2024

Space Monkey

Slur
Racist term for white people. Derived from the theory that white people are not natural to earth combined with the theory of evolution, as put forth by hidden colors 1-4 metaphsicists.

" shut up you pink Space Monkey "

by Pistol 0G March 9, 2020

Trunk Monkey

A person who is black that can't drive

man I hate those trunk monkeys

by CrAcK_mOnKeY195 December 19, 2022

monkey nuts

so monkey nuts are the magazines on a choppa. usally in 2 so u call them monkey nuts. they also HANGLO.

"choppa with the monkey nuts i let em hanglo"
- hanglo 1nonly, 870glizzy

by rubyrudegyal October 28, 2025

Twiddle monkey

The act of wiggling a foreign object up the male pee hole for pleasure. Usually done to one’s self.

She likes to watch him jerk off while she does the Sunday crossword, but gets annoyed when he goes all twiddle monkey with the pencil eraser she’s using.

by The radio dude November 24, 2021

monkey language

the language that has the least letters (a, e, i, o, u), very understandable, and a e uu I oi oi e e e :3

Me: ai

Friend: oi ai ai ai

Me: ai e e o u I a oi oi oi oi e e a u

Kid: what the hell are y'all doing?
Friend: we come from the planet alien and we speak the native monkey language
Me: and we are hungry for your grandma..

Kid: oh shit

Me and Friend: 👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹

by school_chromebook_user December 22, 2025