monkey arse

When your bumhole is bright red and very sore/lacerated from excessive bouts of wiping.

Oh blimey, I wish I hadn’t had that vindaloo. I’ve got a terrible case of monkey arse.

Believed to have been forst coined by Ed Elliot in a Wetherspoons in Exeter. ‘I can’t eat that. I’ve got a terrible case of monkey arse.’

by SwissMinty December 27, 2024

Old Leather Arse

Old Leather Arse was a fictional person who fell off a London bus and was popularised in the expression about not having done something for ages.

“I haven’t been down there since Old Leather Arse fell off the bus”

by SwissMinty March 19, 2024

sweating like a bollock

Feeling extremely hot, typically in high summer when weather is particularly oppressive.

“I’m sweating like a bollock”

by SwissMinty March 19, 2024

Doing a John Opkins

John Opkins is an English voice actor renowned for his gift at doing a range of English accents.

‘That ain’t his real voice. He’s doing a John Opkins.’.

‘That geezer don’t talk like that normally. He’s just doing a John Opkins.’

by SwissMinty February 22, 2025

Bum pit

The anal equivalent of an armpit. The intimate area around one’s bumhole. First heard used by Ed Elliot of Dorset. ‘My undies don’t half pong. I need to give my bum pit a good old clean.’

‘Oh Christ, I’ve got a really smelly bum pit. I should have had a good old wash down there before I came out’

by SwissMinty February 22, 2025