Spaceship Jesus controls everything! Created with a gathering of theories based on Christianity, paranoia, benzo withdrawl & Netflix, this new-found comical theory, states that BOTH spaceships and Jesus will be seen during the end of times.
Christian aspect:
Jesus saves his people from the tribulation, destroys the wicked, & ushers in an age of peace; after the age of peace, there is a second, brief time of trouble which results in the permanent banishment of the wicked. - Wikipedia
Alien aspect:
As our planet becomes closer to the Sun or Solar Flares, in 2012 scientists will reveal that.. it's over! Signs include OCD number writing, being Nicholas Cage & seeing aliens. There's no escaping our doomed fate!
Trials & Tribulations started in '04 when Paris Hilton's sex tape was released. On a mission for survival, Will Ferrel & Brennan Fraisier went to a diner to force all the devil worshipers & meth cooks to save the world by proving that both the The Center of the Earth and the Land of the Lost are REAL so humans could live there till Spaceship Jesus comes! They found an unwed pregnant woman at the diner & decided to make her baby the future of the human race. She ran for the door, but Betty White went nuts & crawled on the ceiling, & she was forced to go with them. None of them have been seen since, but at worst, they go into a volcano & are fed to dinosaurs.
Christian aspect:
Jesus saves his people from the tribulation, destroys the wicked, & ushers in an age of peace; after the age of peace, there is a second, brief time of trouble which results in the permanent banishment of the wicked. - Wikipedia
Alien aspect:
As our planet becomes closer to the Sun or Solar Flares, in 2012 scientists will reveal that.. it's over! Signs include OCD number writing, being Nicholas Cage & seeing aliens. There's no escaping our doomed fate!
Trials & Tribulations started in '04 when Paris Hilton's sex tape was released. On a mission for survival, Will Ferrel & Brennan Fraisier went to a diner to force all the devil worshipers & meth cooks to save the world by proving that both the The Center of the Earth and the Land of the Lost are REAL so humans could live there till Spaceship Jesus comes! They found an unwed pregnant woman at the diner & decided to make her baby the future of the human race. She ran for the door, but Betty White went nuts & crawled on the ceiling, & she was forced to go with them. None of them have been seen since, but at worst, they go into a volcano & are fed to dinosaurs.
The aliens will be able to pass through the thin walls of our parallel universes, escape Area 51 & only take 1 man, give him a brain & the power to deceive us promising the answers to all unknown things. He will disguise himself as Jesus, but he won't even have a spaceship! He will in fact be the Antichrist, ultimate manipulator, Tom Cruise.
They will then invade Earth disguised as "a massive dying of birds" looking for the chosen one; the most powerful person on the planet, Oprah. Together, Tom Cruise & the demon bird aliens use her human body as a host and form the Earth version of Satan. Then the battle begins.
In 2011 durring an ice storm in Kettering, Ohio we witnessed Spaceship Jesus RSVP, telling us the end was near! Bright colorful lights, followed by frozen flood covered streets, as we sat in our houses. No power, internet or Netflix. Just suffering, chatting with our loved ones without distractions, in misery for 72 hours.
That night was never revealed. They called it "power outages" & "cracked potheads". DP&L, Channel 2 news, & a kid from Kroger who recorded the chaos at the substation all covered it up. Why? Because they're all ILLUMINATI!
The message was clear that night & was decoded by "American Psychic" John Edwards being simply this: be astronauts, look for Jesus riding on a spaceship, hear the dead communicate through me, get off or ON drugs, & finally, get a life & stop watching so much tv!
lol :P
(not to be taken litteral)
They will then invade Earth disguised as "a massive dying of birds" looking for the chosen one; the most powerful person on the planet, Oprah. Together, Tom Cruise & the demon bird aliens use her human body as a host and form the Earth version of Satan. Then the battle begins.
In 2011 durring an ice storm in Kettering, Ohio we witnessed Spaceship Jesus RSVP, telling us the end was near! Bright colorful lights, followed by frozen flood covered streets, as we sat in our houses. No power, internet or Netflix. Just suffering, chatting with our loved ones without distractions, in misery for 72 hours.
That night was never revealed. They called it "power outages" & "cracked potheads". DP&L, Channel 2 news, & a kid from Kroger who recorded the chaos at the substation all covered it up. Why? Because they're all ILLUMINATI!
The message was clear that night & was decoded by "American Psychic" John Edwards being simply this: be astronauts, look for Jesus riding on a spaceship, hear the dead communicate through me, get off or ON drugs, & finally, get a life & stop watching so much tv!
lol :P
(not to be taken litteral)
by TheTardish March 15, 2011
Get the Spaceship Jesus mug.let’s get things straight: i do not live in america nor am i apart of the general populous that inhabits the 50 states and recognized territories in which that the united states possess; i was born and currently reside in the large city known as Liverpool, United Kingdom. However, unlike 99.9999999% of citizens that reside on the island of great britain, i am actually PRO-American. Most of the stuff we have (ie phones, furniture, hardware, etc) is shipped from you guessed it, the us of a.
what country has the strongest economy, military? The united states.
what country has the strongest economy, military? The united states.
Before hating on the united states of america, via stereotyping them as “ignorant” “fat” “lazy” go get a phone, unlock it, type “the USA” in the search bar, and edu-ma-cate yaself on the bloody country. before bashing their politics and electoral system, look at our problems first, the EU for instance. we literally left because of how much of a mess it is.
“their president sucks” our prime minister is literally getting “impeached” (fired) because his @$$ was watching pr0n IN A BLOODY GOVERNMENTAL MEETING AND VIOLATED HIS OWN COVID GUIDLINES HE SET FOR US TO ADHERE TO. Before ignorantly stereotyping America negatively, open a book and read it
i’m in year 11 if you think i’m young or stupid :)
“their president sucks” our prime minister is literally getting “impeached” (fired) because his @$$ was watching pr0n IN A BLOODY GOVERNMENTAL MEETING AND VIOLATED HIS OWN COVID GUIDLINES HE SET FOR US TO ADHERE TO. Before ignorantly stereotyping America negatively, open a book and read it
i’m in year 11 if you think i’m young or stupid :)
by aqxa on the yt June 14, 2022
Get the the united states of america mug.Related Words
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Named after the ace of spades, the Race of Spades is said to be drawn anytime a minority uses it to defuse a majority race's argument against them, automatically making them defensive. However, the Race of Spades doesn't always work. Blacks can't use the Race of Spades on Asians, since Asians don't oppress them like as whites, and most importantly: Asians are a more minor minority in the US than them.
White guy: What's up, nigga?
Black friend: Whassup!
Black bystander: Hey, respect the Afrikaaner and quit with the racism.
Black guy: Stop oppressing my people before I beat your ass.
Asian: Why don't you stop oppressing MY people, eh? Your Race of Spades doesn't work on me.
Black friend: Whassup!
Black bystander: Hey, respect the Afrikaaner and quit with the racism.
Black guy: Stop oppressing my people before I beat your ass.
Asian: Why don't you stop oppressing MY people, eh? Your Race of Spades doesn't work on me.
by Roger Sun May 14, 2006
Get the race of spades mug.were beeners try to go to space were the control room and stuff is but to white guys and blacks to it is the porta potti aka the shittier aka THE JOHN aka crapper
by dan weezie October 5, 2006
Get the Mexican spaceshuttle mug.A country in the western hemisphere. The United States gets hackled by many other countries citizens everyday even though they know nothing about the people there.
*Remember*Not every American is a fucking asshole, just the ones that type shit into urbandictionary.com and youtube.com. Almost everyone in the U.S.A is friendly and not a prick.
People of the U.S.A dont think that they are the best in the world. But i would have to say our human rights are.
*Remember*Not every American is a fucking asshole, just the ones that type shit into urbandictionary.com and youtube.com. Almost everyone in the U.S.A is friendly and not a prick.
People of the U.S.A dont think that they are the best in the world. But i would have to say our human rights are.
Im proud to be a citizen of the United States
I love other countries e.g. U.K
ps. president bush was an asshole
I love other countries e.g. U.K
ps. president bush was an asshole
by ILoveBeingAYank April 4, 2009
Get the United States mug.A lot of countries must be very jealous of the United States, because if you look at any other countries definition, they almost always mention the US in it.
by pseudonym is my pseudonym October 10, 2008
Get the United States mug.I'll basically sum up the regions/states:
Northeast; Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Delaware. Famous for NYC and Jersey shores. Known for high education and lots of money but has some ghettos like Camden, West Philly, Harlem and more. Despite popular believe it is not freezing here. It can get as hot as 90 - 100 degrees in the summer. The spring is usually warm and rainy. The fall is nice. And Winter is cold but no one cares cause snow means no school and fun. We don't think we have accents but we do. New York (Brooklyn, Staten Island accents), Boston, Philly, Jersey all have accents. Jersey people say Jurzee not Joisey. We talk pretty fast and everyone's in a rush. Parties are crazy up here. We are diverse, whites, blacks, hispanics, asians all live together. Sports are big, especially baseball, soccer, lax, football, and cheerleading.
Midwest; Illinois, Michigan, Wisconsin, Ohio, Minnesota, Iowa, Indiana, Missouri, Nebraska, Kansas, North and South Dakota. Known for Chicago and Detroit. They have a slight accent. Midwest may not have beaches but it is still an intresting part of the country.
West; Montana, Idaho, Nevada, Wyoming, Colorado, and Utah. Known for Las Vegas, Denver and Salt Lake City. Las Vegas is paradise. It might not have beaches but with pools so great you really don't need them. This part of the country has a lower population but has rolling land and beautiful scenery.
West Coast; California, Oregon, Washington.
Known for Los Angeles, Portland, and Seattle. This coast is amazing diverse with beaches, mountains, rolling land, and deserts. The weather is pretty amazing. Seattle is known for technology. People are generally healthy and happy out there. Some ghettos though are Compton, and East L.A. A problem is illegal immigration but honestly is adds to the local culture and boosts the economy.
Southwest; Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, and Arkansas. Houston is a huge city in the southwest. Known for hot sauce and cowboys this region has a lot to offer. It's not all desert as some people think and it barley rains.
Southeast; Virginia, Tennessee, Louisiana, North and South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia and Florida. Big cities are Charleston, Montgomery, Atlanta, and Miami. Florida offers beautiful beaches and great weather. Accents are pretty noticable. However a accent from South Carolina and Georgia are different from each other. People talk slow and take life easy. Football is huge down there. Religon is also very popular. The South should not be written off as dumb and redneck because they have large cities as well and stereotypes aren't true.
Debatable states; Hawaii, Alaska, West Virginia, Maryland, Kentucky. People say Maryland is south because they succeded from the union. That makes no sense what so ever because California fought with the North but you wouldn't call California a northeastern state. Hawaii and Alaska aren't boredering any states so they kinda fit into their own categroy. Kentucky could be mid-west or southern and West Virgnia could be North or South more likely central though.
Each state is diverse and offers something. We all are strong and united as one.
Northeast; Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Delaware. Famous for NYC and Jersey shores. Known for high education and lots of money but has some ghettos like Camden, West Philly, Harlem and more. Despite popular believe it is not freezing here. It can get as hot as 90 - 100 degrees in the summer. The spring is usually warm and rainy. The fall is nice. And Winter is cold but no one cares cause snow means no school and fun. We don't think we have accents but we do. New York (Brooklyn, Staten Island accents), Boston, Philly, Jersey all have accents. Jersey people say Jurzee not Joisey. We talk pretty fast and everyone's in a rush. Parties are crazy up here. We are diverse, whites, blacks, hispanics, asians all live together. Sports are big, especially baseball, soccer, lax, football, and cheerleading.
Midwest; Illinois, Michigan, Wisconsin, Ohio, Minnesota, Iowa, Indiana, Missouri, Nebraska, Kansas, North and South Dakota. Known for Chicago and Detroit. They have a slight accent. Midwest may not have beaches but it is still an intresting part of the country.
West; Montana, Idaho, Nevada, Wyoming, Colorado, and Utah. Known for Las Vegas, Denver and Salt Lake City. Las Vegas is paradise. It might not have beaches but with pools so great you really don't need them. This part of the country has a lower population but has rolling land and beautiful scenery.
West Coast; California, Oregon, Washington.
Known for Los Angeles, Portland, and Seattle. This coast is amazing diverse with beaches, mountains, rolling land, and deserts. The weather is pretty amazing. Seattle is known for technology. People are generally healthy and happy out there. Some ghettos though are Compton, and East L.A. A problem is illegal immigration but honestly is adds to the local culture and boosts the economy.
Southwest; Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, and Arkansas. Houston is a huge city in the southwest. Known for hot sauce and cowboys this region has a lot to offer. It's not all desert as some people think and it barley rains.
Southeast; Virginia, Tennessee, Louisiana, North and South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia and Florida. Big cities are Charleston, Montgomery, Atlanta, and Miami. Florida offers beautiful beaches and great weather. Accents are pretty noticable. However a accent from South Carolina and Georgia are different from each other. People talk slow and take life easy. Football is huge down there. Religon is also very popular. The South should not be written off as dumb and redneck because they have large cities as well and stereotypes aren't true.
Debatable states; Hawaii, Alaska, West Virginia, Maryland, Kentucky. People say Maryland is south because they succeded from the union. That makes no sense what so ever because California fought with the North but you wouldn't call California a northeastern state. Hawaii and Alaska aren't boredering any states so they kinda fit into their own categroy. Kentucky could be mid-west or southern and West Virgnia could be North or South more likely central though.
Each state is diverse and offers something. We all are strong and united as one.
NYC, Boston, Atlanta, Montgomery, Houston, New Orleans, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Seattle, Chicago, Detroit, which ether city you go is great and unique. UNITED STATES = AMAZING.
by Jersey Kid December 28, 2007
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