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Mattress baguette

that large wide thick juicy dense baguette thats been sitting out all day and might be a little hard to cut
You're as thick as a mattress baguette.
by maezvi March 1, 2025
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Mattress Baguette

A derogatory insult describing a person akin to that little piece of bread wedged between your mattress and wall which has been giving you cockroaches and other critters.
You cheated on me, you're a mattress baguette.
by Pumpkinzz March 2, 2025
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Related Words

Pulling a baldelli

verb; The act of eating out a girls pussy but getting nothing in return.

Usually resulting in getting nothing in return.

A Guy that gives, but does not recieve.
I was pulling a baldelli and got the pus, but got nothing in return.

I pulled a baldelli and didnt get any dome
by gucciestniqqa November 26, 2010
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beat-off baguette

The act of beating off in a hollowed-out, warmed up baguette. When you blow in the baguette, you hand it to your girlfriend/boyfriend to eat as a surprise.
"Dude, I made my girl a beat-off baguette, and she couldn't believe it!"

"While I was still working at the bakery, a customer swore at me, so I went behind the counter and made her a fresh beat-off baguette. That bitch had that coming."
by The Dangerous One45 April 3, 2014
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Straight up full baguette

an adjective describing something of great magnitude or significance. An unusual chain of events against an individual.
Not only did Bill get fired for masturbating in the bathroom at work, but their also suing him for sexual harassment over it. They're giving him the straight up full baguette.
Dude! Andy parents just bought him a fully loaded truck for graduation. It's a straight up full baguette.
by TheNewWordGod September 18, 2017
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nutella on the baguette

When a french (Guy or Girl) has anal sex, and there is some fecal matter on the tip of the penis after you pull it out.
Jean-Pierre just put some Nutella on the Baguette, bon Appétit
by crocodiledundee123 February 7, 2018
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released on bale

What "non-carnivorous" suspects --- i.e., individuals in legal trouble for crimes other than da hazardous-to-humans offenses like violence, murder, etc. --- can get from a "kangaroo court" if they "pony up" a set amount of "hay".
If a judge allows you to be "released on bale", ask him if he wants said "green stuff" to be in alfalfa or timothy.
by QuacksO April 4, 2022
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