thumbsturbate

A masturbatory technique characterized by the use of a single thumb as the sole agent of action. Requiring high levels of mental focus and physical stamina, this ergonomically problematic style of masturbation is exceptionally inefficient, as the thumb provides little stimulation and success is dependent on the performer's ability to non-bodily induce ejaculation. It is also known to cause weather to change wildly, likely due to the disturbance of the laws of nature involved in the process. Citied as a major cause of global warming and climate change.

It has only been performed successfully once in recorded history, at high cost to both the user and the environment.

"hey did you thumbsturbate earlier, cause El goddamn Niño just wiped out Canada."

by littleretardcar October 17, 2009

Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me i aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape on an l on her forehead.

The first verse of the song "Smash Mouth" by "All Star"

"Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me i aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape on an l on her forehead."
Bob: "WHAT IS THIS?"
Sharyl: "GOD'S SINGING VOICE"
Bob: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" *eyes melt out of head*

by Frauggu March 2, 2017

yoked thumbs

The ability to over-tighten small screw down items such as soda bottles and speakers terminals.

Also the ability to pinch with excessive force.

"No I can't open the soda, you got it to tight with your yoked thumbs!"

by Nathan R. Butler February 16, 2009

clinton thumb

The political gesture popularized by Bill Clinton, consisting of a flat thumb on a closed hand. It's neither a fist, nor a pointed finger, nor a thumbs-up. It's all of these and more, and is the best way to convey the message "I want to be forceful without looking like I'm threatening you."

The politician's advisers told him that pointing his finger at the crowd made it look like he was accusing them of something. They recommended that he use a clinton thumb instead.

by Gmanchot February 14, 2012

Thumbing Your Nuts

Wasting time doing absolutely nothing. Usually in a work setting.

Dave: Have you accomplished anything today?

Paul: Hmmm, well, I did make some copies.

Dave: You've just been standing around thumbing your nuts, haven't you?

by SteelerB56 February 28, 2011

THUMB BURGER

To stick one's thumb up anothers ass and dig deeply when least expected causing a shrill of awkwardness and uncomfortable anxiety

While walking down the sidewalk Rachelle thumb burgered a nearby friend.

by fith July 17, 2012

stoner thumb

stoner thumb is the callous that forms on the side of your thumb as a direct result of using a lighter way too much. This usually occurs during long sessions of smoking the herb.

"Son, whats that on your thumb"
"A callous"
"from what?"
"not from my lighter sir"
"really because it looks like you've got a stoner thumb"

by knels October 15, 2009