thumbsturbate

A masturbatory technique characterized by the use of a single thumb as the sole agent of action. Requiring high levels of mental focus and physical stamina, this ergonomically problematic style of masturbation is exceptionally inefficient, as the thumb provides little stimulation and success is dependent on the performer's ability to non-bodily induce ejaculation. It is also known to cause weather to change wildly, likely due to the disturbance of the laws of nature involved in the process. Citied as a major cause of global warming and climate change.

It has only been performed successfully once in recorded history, at high cost to both the user and the environment.

"hey did you thumbsturbate earlier, cause El goddamn Niño just wiped out Canada."

thumbsturbate by littleretardcar October 17, 2009

Thumbsturbating 

To constantly text, and when your not obsess about it. Self-gratification in "playing" with your phone with your thumbs.

1. Mr. O caught Kelsey thumbsturbating in front of him in class during third period.


2. She thumbsturbated all over the place as she texted her friend.

Thumbsturbating by Ostrowskiness March 10, 2009

thumbsterbate 

To excessively or with great apparent pleasure send cell phone text messages. Normally with fervent pecking at the keyboard with dueling thumbs in an almost rhythmic movement. The texter may also be quite unaware of their surroundings, focusing all efforts on proper spelling of cryptic jumbles of letters and acronyms.

He completely lost track of time while thumbsterbating with his girlfriend all night at the party. He would thumbsterbate with his girlfriend at every given opportunity.

thumbsterbate by MrMadness August 5, 2009

Trumpsturbater 

A person who mentally masturbates at the mere thought of listening to an incoherent rage filled speech or any supporting plague of baseless stupidity by their idol Donald Trump.

Did you see that Right Wing hate speech yesterday by the Proud Boi?
Yeah, what a Trumpsturbater!

Trumpsturbater by Sonicbo0mz December 3, 2020