functioning crackhead

A functioning crackhead is somebody that is able to hold down a job and maintain a "normal" lifestyle while on crack, without completely sucumbing they're life to the drug.

Guy 1: For a hype, that dude sure has a decent house and job.

Guy 2: Yeah, thats because he's a functioning crackhead

by I Can Be Your Cutie March 20, 2008

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functional drunk

A person that can have many drinks, become drunk, and still function perfectly normal. It's hard to tell whether or not this person is drunk unless you ask them to recite something.

Girl: I was so drunk last night but I had a normal texting conversation with my boyfriend.
Other girl: That's weird but you might be a functional drunk.

by Stonerhighbye November 28, 2013

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Related Words

funxtion • function • functionable • Function Adams • functional • functional alcoholic • Functional Idiot • functionality • functional junkie • Functionally lazy

functional alcoholic

a worthless yet admirable person who can drink everynight and still pull good grades in college or act as a normal person in a work environment.

that bitch drinks every f'n night and made a better grade than me on the test.

Or:
i saw that douche torn up last night and today he acts like mr. super employee. wtf?

by d May 13, 2005

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Family function

Family gathering

Link you at family function cuzz.

by CertiSD December 29, 2018

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What's Your Function?

If a conjunction, the answer is "To join words and sentences."

Also a horrible pick-up line at bars.

Eugene: What's your function here?

Melvin: I oversee major projects and aid in the development of minor ones.

Tony: Hey baby, what's your function?

Tony is promptly slapped by Tina.

by Diggity Monkeez March 27, 2005

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