Milk the ferret

A colloquial, if you can call it that, term for vicious masturbation.

1.) Carl: Jesus Christ Mark, I was milkin' the ferret the other day when my eighty year old nan walked in on the vinegar stroke. How she bought the shampoo spillage story I'll never know.

2.) Swithin: Are priests allowed to milk the ferret, as long as they don't think lustful thoughts mum?

Mum: No, can you?

by G21 March 24, 2008

The Ferret

Derogatory slang for a horrendously ugly military style haircut similar to a high and tight. When all the hair on the head is shaved except for the minimal standard amount on top of the head, roughly four fingers in width. Resembling a rolled up dead ferret on top of the head. The term originated at Utah State University and is rumored to have first been coined by Tyler Worsley.

Ex: John: I just got a new haircut, girls have been checking me out all day!

David: Whoa John, The Ferret is not a good look for anyone, shake that dead mammal of your head.

Ex: James: I've been thinking about having my barber give me The Ferret.

Michael: What a terrible idea...

by T. Dub! November 15, 2011

Cock Ferret

One who is a douche bag, or implying homosexuality

my roommate Chris is a total cock ferret.

by Seth_Andrew May 6, 2009

Eternal Ferret

the eternal ferret is a mythical creature that was destroyed by limecat and the clock spider. the eternal ferret is not hiding with chinchillas (ferrets hate chinchillas)

eternal ferret died by the hand of the limecat

by Heskit April 26, 2007

Tay Ferret

Tay Ferret is an amazing anthro artist who's art skills and creativity are only outshined by his brains and his cuteness. Tay Ferret's real identity is a secret because the world doesn't agree with him yet. Sometimes crazy people want to hurt Tay because they think he's bad, these people are Lion their tails off about him!

Let's go see uncle Tay! Maybe that fun Bear will be On Watch while I soak him again this time! Once Tay Ferret is all done, he will cuddle with me and Fay Terret in our mix of warm wetness and frothy stickiness!

by HaveAScrewLooseAndAFuseBlew July 17, 2023

ferhekadumper

A word of endless uses.

1 - "DUDE!!! I just took the biggest friggin' ferhekadumper!!! The inside of my butt feels like if Edward Scissorhands has been living there for 2 years... Oh, and I think your toilet is clogged."

2 - "Ferhekadumper!!! I stubbed my toe!!!"

3 - "I just hate those kids who always think they know what there talking about. They just get on my ferhekadumpers."

4 - "Well johnny... you're fired." "You can't do this sir, I'm really need this job. I have ferhekadumpers to feed."

5 - "Is that all for you today?" "Well, do you have any of the OTHER movies? You know, like Girls Gone Ferhekadumper."

by Daniel Valdez January 1, 2009

ferret no-no

Things that you shouldn't do, whether or not you own a ferret. Such as,
(1) Not looking where you step.
(2) Not looking before you sit.
(3) Leaving your purse unattended.
(4) Leaving doors open.
(5) Leaving cupboards or drawers open.
(6) Sleeping naked with the door open.
(7) Leaving candy or cookies or soda on the coffee table when you go to the bathroom.

(1) Dan did a ferret no-no and broke his leg in a man hole.
(2) Mike did a ferret no-no and sat on a freshly painted bench. (2) Pat did a ferret no-no and got a man hole surprise when he sat down at the nude beach.
(3) Sally did a ferret no-no and got her purse stolen out of her grocery cart.
(4) Clarence did a ferret no-no and got his TVCR stolen.
(6) Pam Anderson did a ferret no-no and it's all over the internet!
(7) James Bond did a ferret no-no and someone slipped him a mickey.

by Willy Dickinson, therapist August 1, 2006