Academic Consultant

A grandiose windbag who bullshits for a fee. They can't do anything useful, so they enter teaching, but they find out they can't teach very well so they try to teach teachers, but the teacher they teach think they are tossers, so they become academic consultants.

Chas: Who the fuck is that grandiose tosser at the front of the room who keeps bullshitting?

Nick: He's what's called an Academic Consultant. Tosser.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010

Consueloing

The act of being sneaky and awkward in a very distinctly Spanish way. Most commonly heard in the small city of Alcalá outside Madrid where the phrase recently originated, although some experts simply consider the verb "consueloing" to be contemporary nomenclature for a pre-existing but previosly undefined pattern of behavior throughout central Spain. Rocking a mullet and wearing large sunglasses has been observed to vastly increase one's chance of successfully "consueloing". So does being beat.

Damn, Antonio busted into two of my classes today, looked around the room and then just left, all without saying a word to the professors.

Yeah, he really does have a habit of consueloing his way around here in the mornings. He must get lonely. Sigh...

by don simon December 13, 2006

Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant

From the movie 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High'. A skeevy loser that hooks up with underage girls because of his job at the mall and ability to drive them to 'the point' in his '78 T-Bird.

"I've known him since high school, and he's still banging 16 year-olds that come into the Radio Shack. He's totally Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant!"

by ~x~barbird~ v January 6, 2009

Consultant Coffee

Any drink that is made or paid for by someone higher up than you. This applies particularly to medical doctors to medical students.

Student 1: "I got consultant coffee today"

Student 2: "jealoussssss"

by sratk2 July 5, 2011

Consulation Guest

A "Consulation Guest" is someone who is invited to an event, party, concert, etc, but only after the "First Choice Guest" is a no show and, at the last minute, your buddy needs someone to go with them. Basically, you are a second choice...or third...chopped liver...filler...

You will get the "Consulation Guest" offer, most often, the day of the event.

In a backward sort of way, being asked as a Consulation Guest, is a complement. You are asked because you are not a flake, are spontaneous, have decent manners, and versatile wardrobe. Oh, and a reliable car and gas money, because, as Consulation Guest, they expect you to drive..."after all, they invited you!".

Friend: "Hey Becky, wanna go the the (insert name of event here) with me? Jason was going, but he flaked out on me. Oh, and it's tonight."

You: "Dude, I am insultated you're asking me as the Consulation Guest, but I always wanted to see (insert name of superstar here). Sure, I'll go. I suppose I'm driving?"

by MsRat3 December 1, 2013

Organic Consulting

this is a new phenomenon in the professional services or consulting industry where consultants are straightforward and truthful with their clients. They are "keeping it real" and cutting out the bullshit. They don't use buzzwords and try to be honest as possible. Like organic food, organic consulting is consulting without fluff.

Your client wants to close their widget factory in China and open it in California. If you practice Organic Consulting you would say "are you nuts, you'll lose money. Don't be an idiot." Whereas, the typical consultant would say "that's an interesting idea, let's investigate further and prepare a business case. We charge $300 per hour for that service."

by VI Island Boy August 24, 2009

Dirty Consuela

Similar to a dirty sanchez minus the feces. A "Dirty Consuela" is when you assist a female partner to orgasm and proceed to wipe a cum mustache upon her face upon completion.

Danielle gave Anni a distinguished "Dirty Consuela."

by Lewiscypher13 November 12, 2012