Turd Torpedo

A gigantic piece of turd that you let out in a public or private pool and sinks into the bottom of the pool.

Holy sh!t my sister let out a friggin turd torpedo in my friends pool!!!

by Pinchmeshanigans March 4, 2009

Self Propelled Torpedo Cockblock

A self caused cockblock, with so much blocking power, it can only be caused by a major act of stupidity; Brought upon by themselves with good intentions for the receiver, but ended up bitting them in the ass. SPTC for short.

Guy 1: "Ha! That creeper just asked the hottest girl at university for nude photos via text!"

Guy 2: "He's got major Self Propelled Torpedo Cockblock now; He's never getting laid."

by c.NEWBY;m.MANYARD;m.CAMERON May 28, 2010

fecal torpedo

A violent shit that rockets out of the ass at a very high rate of speed.

Jim: The stupid dog I was pet sitting swallowed a sock.
Steve: Really? What happened?
Jim: I took him to the vet and just before they were going to operate he shit the sock out at super speed.
Steve: Like a fecal torpedo?
Jim: Exactly.

Rob: How was lunch at the Chinese/Indian buffet place?
Lou: It was ok but half an hour later I had a fecal torpedo in stall #2

by Lou_III January 30, 2009

Dutch Torpedo

The act of taking a shit in any body of water and guiding your fresh turd (henceforth referred to as the torpedo) to your friends swimming nearby, be it by natural currents or human motion. You position yourself upstream, take a squatting position and spread your butt cheeks to launch the warhead. As the guidance system locks in on your target, you then start the countdown sequence: “3, 2, 1, fire!” If your brown torpedo hits one of your friends and triggers its toxic cargo, you then shout “I’ve sunk your battleship!”

Yo Dude, What's this floating in the water? OH NO! It's a Dutch Torpedo! Swim for your life!

by Three Stripes June 10, 2014

Shining the Torpedo

Male; to masturbate. See also Buttering the Corn Cob.

My Mom hasn't talked to me since she caught me shining the torpedo last week.

by McFatty May 6, 2005

Torpedo

A fast moving dick that fucks vigorously.

Kiersten bent over the sink so Chad could Torpedo her pussy and anus then he gave her a massive creampie and cum facial!

by SlopNChop November 27, 2016

Torpedo Firecracker

a heavily submerged tampon that explodes the vagina when yanked like a stubborn lawn mower.

Oh my God, I swear my flow has NEVER been this heavy...my tampon probably transformed into some sort of torpedo firecracker that instantly blew out my vagina when you jerked the string like a rope in a tug-of-war competition.

by Tenderloin Debutante July 26, 2016