Skip to main content

The Princess (sex position)

This position is used to show your girl you truly adore her with a little surprise right as you put it in.
The following steps define this sex position:

1. Don’t be sloppy on the job and forget to warm her up first!
2. When the time is nigh, flip her over on her belly, legs together, with a pillow of sorts under her pelvis to prop her ass up without any strain on her part. She should also be resting on her forearms (this will be important for the defining bit of this position)
3. Then, as she can’t see you, grab the ice cream, cupcake, mochi, or another of her favorite deserts that you’ve hidden close by, and right as you enter her, simultaneously bring the dessert into her line of sight.
4. As you slowly fuck her, spoon feed her the desert so that she doesn’t even have to lift a finger.
5. You’ve succeeded if she doesn’t have to do any work as you put delightful things in various holes.

Extra credit if you have the core strength to massage her clit with your free hand.
So we were doing The Princess (sex position), right, because it was our anniversary and all, and then get this, she spits out the ice cream in the middle of it, tells me I got the wrong kind, and that if I want to continue I'll have to go back to the store and return with her other favorite flavor.
by agr3.14 May 24, 2018
mugGet the The Princess (sex position) mug.

The Jenga Sex Position

A sex position in which people stack on top of each other in alternating rows during an orgy, in a Jenga like fashion. The last person to pull out without falling over wins.
Last night, we tried The Jenga Sex Position. Mark barely beat Carlos.
by YesPapa47 April 10, 2021
mugGet the The Jenga Sex Position mug.

the Family Guy Position

if your date is ugly and you don't wanna see her naked and get her pregnant, you fuck her in the ear
(from a Family Guy episode about chastity)
I hate the Family Guy Position, I'd rather do it doggie style.
by LLLZ March 4, 2008
mugGet the the Family Guy Position mug.

The Master Key Position

The master key position is when the dominant male uses off hand to choke female counterpart while inserting the index and middle fingers into said vagina. From this moment on, the male has complete control of said female. The master key position can be utilized on a couch or a bed at any given time.
In order to control your girl you have to use the master key position on her.
by Mhadtt Aucella August 22, 2017
mugGet the The Master Key Position mug.

The Electric Chair Position

Otherwise known as the Epileptic Entanglement. This sex position starts by the man sitting on some form of surface (ie chair, bed, etc). The women then sits down on the man as if she were sitting on a chair. After which, she furiously shines a flashlight on and off into his eyes, causing the man to have a seizure. The man then spasms while inside, resulting in indescribable pleasure for the woman.

Side effects:

Impregnation
Bruising

Welting

Rashes
Carpet Burn
Loss of limbs

Blindness

Retardation

Loss of hearing
Stroke

Clotting
Death
(Dont attempt while on period, or while pregnant)
Jim: Hey I want to try something new.
Karla: What is it?
Jim: Just bring a flashlight, I'll give you The Electric Chair Position.
by KrickyTheKracky April 8, 2019
mugGet the The Electric Chair Position mug.

The Sliding X Position

The Sliding X position is an intense sex move that requires a lot of stretching beforehand.

How to: "The female lies leaned back with one leg in the air and the on the ground, the male takes a stance at the end of the room and stretches before performing this manoeuvre, he takes a starting position and awaits the gun snap before leaping into a sprint. The male at full velocity begins a downward descent into a slide tackling position with one leg raised in the air to match his female spotter vajayjay with his peen. This achieves the best and deepest penetration one could ever hope for."
"Engage the Sliding X Position dear, I'm feeling Horny with a capital H"

"Hey Honey! Good for you to come home from work and as a surprise, I'm already in the sliding x position for you baby. Run the fuck at me babe"

"Yes doctor, we got these injuries from the sliding x position. Lets just say, there was knees in place they shouldn't have been."
by SeyekoCorpse August 5, 2022
mugGet the The Sliding X Position mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email