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Couch Philosopher

An individual who starts a typical day at 12:30pm to 1pm, and before doing anything they rip from a bong. Many are men in their late teens to early 20s living at their parents house (without any desire to leave) and if they aren't taking college classes online they are taking a gap year (or three) before deciding to sack-up and go to college where they would have to socialize. They are most commonly known to smoke weed ALL day watching their favorite animated shows in the basement and only having enough money to make a run to Taco Bell or some other grease trap. The typical couch philosopher doesn't have a car and just walks everywhere or bums rides... if they do have a car the oil hasn't been changed for about 5 years. Their favorite activity is to sit on the couch all day coming up with as many reasons why weed is the best thing in the world, how society should just smoke up 24/7, how they love licking liberal taint, and how cigarettes are so much worse for you. What they don't realize is that weed made them an apathetic fuck....A "Couch Philosopher"
Person 1- Why don't you like going to Dave's house?

Person 2- I actually wanna do something with my life and I feel like his laziness is going to rub off on me...plus i don't wanna hear those couch philosophers lecture me on the advantages of weed all day and why i shouldn't smoke my cigs.

Person 1- Shit.... your right, Daves going nowhere in life
by Pnation July 18, 2012
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Philosopheres Stone

A turd that emerges after a couple of hours of intense concentration.
"Jesus Christos, I read that whole book producing that philosopheres stone."
by Jtron 3000 October 3, 2003
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stoned Philosopher

The full background and reason for the very existence and funcuality of the most innate objects—usually sounds stupid except to the philosopher
Dave: “Was I a stoned philosopher last night?”

Otto: “Yea bro! You were talking about how their should squirrel whistles on cars and how they might cut down on motor vehicle fatalities. And then you started laughing and started chanting:
‘So-Crates, So-Crates, So-Crates”
by LuckDog November 29, 2017
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homeless philosopher

a burnout, a failure, a kid with no future besides prison, someone with a million ideas that require someone else to fund them, and still lives at his parents at 30
my friends dad direct quote, "A i think bryan is on drugs or retarded or something don't hang out with that guy anymore he is gunna grow up to be a homeless philosopher"
by shresdthesupergnargnar April 12, 2015
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Facebook Philosopher

A person who comes up with quotes by themselves in their everyday life that they believe are worth posting to Facebook, when some of them are even good enough to be actual modern philosophies. Such as "People don't Care about your life unless it relates to their own".
Dude, Jacob is such a Facebook Philosopher!
by Sharksfan831 June 13, 2012
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philosopher

Someone who wasted the money their parents paid to get them through college.
I majored in philosophy, would like fries with that?
by Betterthanyouguy November 10, 2004
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a philosopher's orgasm

The philosopher’s orgasm is an acute feeling of bliss that occurs after a profound thought or experience. It can be described it as the mind’s “gears falling into place.”
Few men in history can claim to have felt abject satisfaction and bliss simply from thinking, and those who do have experienced a philosopher's orgasm, the complete harmony between logical thought and emotion.
by Amerek Manixen April 8, 2016
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