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wet mattessich

A riff off of a White Russian, created by Minneston native J. Mattessich. The drink replaces the cream in a traditional White Russian with RumChata. The official recipe is equal parts Kaluha, RumChata, and vodka. Serve over ice cubes in an "on-the-rocks" glass or tumbler.
Customer: "Hmmm....I want a White Russian, but with 33% more booze."

Bartender: "I'll make you a Wet Mattessich. Hold on to your ass."
by BastilleDay June 29, 2014
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Hairy Malteaser

When your black ballsack gets so sweaty and drenched in cum that it resembles a hairy malteaser. Often seen in the hands of Liz or Samantha on a Tuesday evening.
Last night the party got so wild that we ended up in his room, by the end of it his ball bag looked like a Hairy Malteaser
by Hairy Malteaser May 10, 2020
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jon matteson

a starkid actor who has been a part of team starkid since 2018 when he played "Paul" in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals". his most recent known work was when he played the roles "paul", "wiggly" and "Gary Goldstein" in Starkid's latest musical Black Friday. He is very talented and deserves a helluva lot more attention.
emma perkins: GOSH, who the hell voices wiggly

henry hidgens: why, jon matteson of course!
by jackaloped January 18, 2021
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matters

n. When a person is depressed but can't quite determine why, he/she has "the matters." from "What's a matter?"

The person doesn't know "what's a matter."
What's wrong, Louis?
I don't know, I've just got the matters.
by TBea April 23, 2008
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malteaser head

Dergogative term for a black perosn often used as a racist insult to the similarities of their head with a malteaser.
haha look at that fucking nigga and his malteaser head.
by Steve Mcgibbon May 18, 2006
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Malteaser

A brunette girl, but with a very blonde mind. Therefor being brown on the outside, blonde inside.
Shes a total malteaser, brunette but thick as a blonde
by rona8z November 22, 2009
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Matteis

Matteis is a pretty chill guy. He’s always got loads of bitches on the go, but rumour has it that it’s all thanks to his sexy porn-stache and astounding height of 5’4”. You’ll probably catch him long boarding on an adventure to a local restaurant to surprise a friend. If you have a Matteis, you should keep them. They’re rare and always a great time.
Who’s that sexy beast over there?!
Oh that’s Matteis. Better hold on to your girl cause he’ll swoop her off her feet.
by libbysnoot September 2, 2020
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