lap daddy

A DILF dad who’s lap you would like to sit on. MAINLY FOR SEXUAL REASONS. Think of Bella’s dad from Twilight. There’s a scene where his girlfriend is sitting on his lap and he’s a total lap daddy.

“Give me that lap you lap daddy.” And “is this lap daddy’s lap taken?”

by Organic potting mix January 15, 2022

Lap Dance

A woman moves her titties and ass all over a man, making him feel hard and excited. Sometimes she vigorously shakes her body/ass/tits.

Last night, Samantha gave Jack a lap dance. She rubbed her hot, oily ass all over him. His penis was as hard as a metal pole. He slapped her ass a few times to try and help his ass desire, but it only made his dick harder. Then, she turned around, sat on him, and shook her ass and titties all around. After that, Jack's dick was so hard and he was so excited that he needed more booty.

by Genius/Ambiguous August 2, 2015

lap dog woman

A short, "spunky" or "perky" woman who wears high heels to compensate for her inferior height, wears power suits, always has a cell phone against her ear, and talks about her great corporate job. Lap dog women are usually thin (but can be chunky), are "cute," and always say that everything else is cute ie "that skirt is soooo CUTE!" Lap dog women often order coffee drinks that are excrutiatingly precise, ie "I'll have a grande skim half-caf soy mocha with sugar-free caramel, extra foam, 180 degrees, and no whip." Lap dog women also wear lots of makeup, are always having their hair done, hit the gym, and drive SUVs or jettas and acuras. Lap dog women perceive themselves as "together," "hip," "organized," and "upbeat." Others perceive them as ambitious soccer moms who just haven't let themselves go (yet). Lap dog women are usually in their 20s and 30s, newly married, and probably rely on their husbands to pay the real bills so they can keep buying $400 handbags. Many lap dog women were members of sororities in college and majored in business in college (particularly marketing). Lap dog women do not usually earn graduate degrees, although some opt for the MBA. Lap dog women are symbols of corporate success and mainstream, mind-numbingly mundane and superficial US culture. Lap dog women exist throughout the US, but are most frequently seen in southern California and in larger cities in the Midwest. It is their dream to land a great corporate job in New York City (of course) where they would have more access to "cute" designer clothes. Lap dog women are known for their fake and perky "can-do" attitude, saying "great" and "cute" and for pronouncing every vowel as if it were 10,000 shorts A's ie "I haave to go to the baa--(like a sheep)--hroom."

I had to wait for my coffee for three hours because there was a lap dog woman in front of me.

by KAGT June 20, 2007

Lap Flaps

huge or obscurely large or awkward pussy lips. Usually getting in the way, or humors.

Tammi "Is it in?"

Bill "No, I can't find the hole because of your lap flaps"

Ron " You really going to fuck Jen?"
John " Yea why?"
Ron " Good luck. Most people cant get past her lap flaps"

by N-Dangerous August 27, 2010

lap lumber

Gettin a boner, erection, a woodie.

I was watchin the porno and got a serious case of lap lumber

hard on woodie boner stiffie dick lap lumber

by thetommeister March 8, 2009

Lap Flappies

A womans labia.

I could chew on those lap flappies for hours.

by Kawalski December 24, 2009

Lap Desk

The most badass Laptop/notebook accessory. Keeps you from burning your lap or manhood (if applies). Lets everyone know you care about the sexy legs you have under your clothes. Comfy ergonomic pillow with plastic or wooden top to set stuff on. A desk for your lap!

Tom-Dude I have "toasted skin syndrome"
Kate- Idiot, you should have used a lap desk!

by HTROW TROF October 7, 2010