Calculator

Guy 1: Have you seen my brain?

Guy 2: what? you lost your brain?

Guy 1: yeah, it is green and had buttons on it, oh yeah it say "Texas Instruments" on the front.

Guy 2: dude, that's a calculator

Guy 1: I DON'T CARE JUST FIND IT

by Who The Douce Are You? April 12, 2005

Flag

Get the Calculator mug.

calculator monkey

Stereotypically, any Asian that is amazing at any math and/or math concepts and that can compute all of these concepts without the use of the calculator. These are typically the Asians that succeed in any classes having to do with math or science with little to no work being done as it just comes naturally to them based on their genetics in these subjects. Also, you use them to help you receive good grades in classes and help them by making friends they wouldn't normally have.

Person 1: "Hey man, did you get the answer to #5, the algebraic equation?"
Person 2: "Yea, Min got the answer for me in like 10 seconds. That kid is a calculator monkey if I've ever seen one before."
Person 1: "He definitely is!"

by Paceyourself February 7, 2014

Flag

Get the calculator monkey mug.

Young Calculator

The highest status that a human can earn. A young calculator is highly respected anywhere they go.

That khed is an absolute young calculator

by HitYourShots April 18, 2018

Flag

Get the Young Calculator mug.

Calculus

A device thought up by the government to keep high school and college students feeling dumb and therefor keeping them from begining a rebellion.

1: "Down with our capitalist government! Viva la Resistance!"

2: "Sorry, dude. No can do... Failing calculus. Gotta study up."

1: "Mr. President, we feel this generation of high schoolers think they're smart enough to overthrow the government. What is our best course of action?"

2: "Hmm... Raise the national grading scale for calculus."

1: "Brilliant!"

by Andreios April 2, 2009

Flag

Get the Calculus mug.

I need a calculator

An office phrase roughly translated to "I need a bailout or rescue." Something awful is happening to the person who has given you this message, and it's your responsibility to bail them out. Situations in which this phrase is appropriate:

- An office camper has left the original intended topic for some light-hearted small talk about his child you hate
- An office camper with horrid breath has pinned you
- You're in a meeting that's so boring you will have to snort coke off a stripper's chesticles to balance your life back in the right direction

The message generally arrives in the form of text or instant message. When the situation is dire, email may be used. The appropriate response is generally to come up with technical nonsense to ask this person then either call or visit to bail them out.

Office Camper: "Enough about linux, did you know my child is an honor's student? She's taking all AP classes in the Spring. God we're so proud of her ... "
Jim (Victim) text messages Vince (Savior) "I need a calculator" to avoid nosy eyes understanding this dire message.
Office Camper: "She even taught some of the other children in the class how to use it! Can you believe that? Even the teacher was impressed"
Savior: "Hey Jim! Listen I need some help with linux..."
Office Camper: "Oh well I can see you're busy"

by Fatty Tatterson September 10, 2009

Flag