Table Vultures

People trying to find a table to sit at in a crowded coffee shop. They will often circle the coffee shop repeatedly while looking for a place to sit and will hover buzzard-like near the table of someone who looks like they might be about to leave.

In Seattle’s popular coffee shops it’s common for customers (often with laptop computers), to sit at their tables for hours making it hard for other people to find a free table to sit at.

"The other day I was writing at Cafe Solstice in the U District. It was full and the second I started packing up I could see a couple table vultures hovering, just waiting for me to leave."

by Cryptolexicographer December 5, 2013

Table broken

To have manners in public. To act with home training. To act like you got some damn sense. To act like you were raised.

That bitch sitting in the chair at a restaurant indian style must not be table broken.

by 1977 blackmagic April 13, 2019

Table tumor

Being fat with a big belly

Look at joe, he like to eat at the buffet that’s why he’s got a table tumor.

by 6ftIslandgirl December 30, 2017

table tax

The fee someone must pay (usually in food products) for sitting at your lunch table. It is customary to loudly proclaim "TABLE TAX!" when taking the payment by force.

Biznart: Hey MS, can I sit here?
MadSheep_V2.1: (snatching fries) Table Tax, bitch!

by Biznart October 28, 2008

Clear Table

When a woman lies under a long, very low glass table while upwards of five men compete to ejaculate on that low-lying glass table. The jizzum does not actually touch the woman, it remains on the table. In the best case scenario, the woman feels really weird that she is so close to jizzum, but not actually in contact with jizzum. In the worst case scenario, people blame you for inventing something called "clear table" when, in fact, you did not.

Wow, that game of clear table was so gross. I just wanted to give that glass some windex or something...i mean with all the jizz on it. And i think that bitch got stuck under the table because it was so long...and low-lying.

by Tommy Irish July 27, 2010

The Table Flip

When you just finished hate fucking a girl, doggy style, and you flip her off of your cock, forcing her into a somersault.

Yo, I used The Table Flip on my X after giving her one last ride! She rolled off the bed!

by Sirup January 23, 2021

table tongue

Table Tongue is when you lick a table until your tongue is covered in splinters

Guy 1: AH! Godammit!

Guy 2: Dude what happened?

Guy 1: I tried to do Table Tongue and it fucking hurts

Guy 2: Wow, you're a fucking dumbass

by SpasticMicrophone October 14, 2014