Table faced

1. Being incredibly intoxicated.

2. Beating some one up to the point their face bleeds.

1. Man, I got so table faced last night I was doing the robot on the kitchen counter.

2. I STRAIGHT TABLE FACED THAT MOTHER FUCKER!

by theshakinbaccon December 23, 2009

table saw

A combination of the terms table, meaning a horizontal plane on which to engage in coitus, and saw, being an acronym for "Short and Wide". The meaning is to engage in sexual intercourse with an obese midget, doing so on a table.

Woah dude, do you hear about Austin doing the table saw?

by GeneralDiabeetus September 18, 2016

table tongue

Table Tongue is when you lick a table until your tongue is covered in splinters

Guy 1: AH! Godammit!

Guy 2: Dude what happened?

Guy 1: I tried to do Table Tongue and it fucking hurts

Guy 2: Wow, you're a fucking dumbass

by SpasticMicrophone October 14, 2014

Clear Table

When a woman lies under a long, very low glass table while upwards of five men compete to ejaculate on that low-lying glass table. The jizzum does not actually touch the woman, it remains on the table. In the best case scenario, the woman feels really weird that she is so close to jizzum, but not actually in contact with jizzum. In the worst case scenario, people blame you for inventing something called "clear table" when, in fact, you did not.

Wow, that game of clear table was so gross. I just wanted to give that glass some windex or something...i mean with all the jizz on it. And i think that bitch got stuck under the table because it was so long...and low-lying.

by Tommy Irish July 27, 2010

The Table Flip

When you just finished hate fucking a girl, doggy style, and you flip her off of your cock, forcing her into a somersault.

Yo, I used The Table Flip on my X after giving her one last ride! She rolled off the bed!

by Sirup January 23, 2021

table shark

1: A pet dog or cat that stays near or under the table, kitchen sink, and or kitchen counter while food is being prepared or eaten in the hopes that some will fall and they can eat it.
2: A very skilled gambler with an aggressive play style

That guy at corner of table four is a table shark. They have been winning the majority of the matches they have entered regardless of who they are playing.

by Vanguard 1998 March 17, 2021

Table tumor

Being fat with a big belly

Look at joe, he like to eat at the buffet that’s why he’s got a table tumor.

by 6ftIslandgirl December 30, 2017