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The Jake

N. A Whiny bitch in a group of friends that gets what he considers a girlfriend, but in reality she lives over 1000 miles away and has never seen her in person. And after said "girlfriend" breaks up with him, he whines and cries for days on end till he remembers he only needs his hand so he can at least beat off with it.
Example 1-

Friend 1 : "So how's your ex girlfriend, Jake?"

Jake: "SHUT UP! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN!!!"

Friend 2: "Really? You've never even banged her..."

Example 2- Friend

Friend 1: "Is Jake still crying over that girl?"

Friend2: " No he rediscovered his hand."

The Jake: " I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW. I'M TAKING YOU OFF MY FRIENDS LIST ON XBOX LIVE NOW! ASSHOLE!!"

*The Jake runs off and cries. Then beats off.*

Friend1: "Wow. What a shame..."
by Not Tenspeed. May 10, 2010
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jake it

To not revise at all for a test but still, by some miracle, get a good mark.
Friend: Have you revised for the test?

You: Nah, I think I'm just going to jake it.

Friend: Haha good luck then.
by Je/suis/asparagus November 27, 2018
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Jake

A fat cunt that no one likep
Hate jake , sucha dick
by Swag Master696969 July 13, 2017
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Jake

Jake is a sexy mofo who has a huge penis and balls. He is 25% and is a well known coochie slayer. He is known for his huge dick that is about 15 inches long. It’s so big that he tapes it to his leg. Everyone wants to be Jake, for he fucks a new bitch every night.
He must be a Jake, his dick is huge.
by Jakefishyyyy December 30, 2018
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Jake

A truthful person. If any one touches his girl he will break you like he broke Tim. And he has a big chode
A:ow jake he hurt me

Jake:it’s fine I’ll deal with him
by Jake.w January 12, 2019
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Jake

Handsome, sweet, amazing, innocent, The most caring person you will ever meet. He is always Loyal with a great sense of humor. There isn't a person in the world that doesn't enjoy talking to him. Very Very inellegent and active. Great in Bed 😍 Very adorable and the best man ever. He is very shy but once he's used to you, Its the best thing ever. I love Jake. You cant get anyone better then Jake, Once you have him, Don't ever let go.
by The way I move June 18, 2018
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Jake

Jake is a nice guy but he will break your heart he messes you around hes a big ugly assed fuckboy
by Gingeredemma July 5, 2018
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