Closet smoke

A person, usually female, that doesn't appear to be beautiful at first glance, but upon further investigation, is actually extremely pretty. Subtle things like mannerisms, eyes, hair and voice are what set these people apart from thirsty girls.

Bro, have you seen Kate's Insta lately? The girl is a closet smoke. Wish I would have realised that back in college...

by SHammer35 July 6, 2020

Closet Poptart

A person who was believed to be straight for a long period of time who suddenly "comes out of the closet," in an unexpected and rapid manner.

I thought Jim was a playboy who railed dimes every day, untill he gave all the guys head at Becky's sweet 16. Fucking closet poptart!

by WebstersXXX January 10, 2015

closet crackhead

Someone who hides their crack or drug addiction from their friends and steals money to fulfill it

My friend Koy is a closet crackhead because I know he’s a tweak but he won’t admit it

by DrJeffery January 25, 2020

goodie closet

noun
A closet for snacks. First discovered in OneTopic's "The straights are NOT OK"

"Did you steal the cheetos out of my goodie closet again?"
"I'm sorry, but it's my cheat day and I'm really hungry."

by Cookie_on_Joy August 13, 2020

Closet Keeper

Closet keeper is alternative way to tell someone that there spouse is gay & has not " Flamed On" Out of the Closet yet..

Honestly, you man shook my hand like a baby , stands,walks,talks leaves only one thing .. .. you do know that your man is a Closet Keeper. .

by Mrbigshtt August 8, 2016

satan's closet

somewhere you go that prolonged exposure to can and will result in injury, death, imprisonment and or an STD
a place where evil dwells.

that is the last time i got to satan's closet. that place is off the hook.

by mar'scorpio February 17, 2010

closet crunch

When your girlfriend is knee deep in housework and you ambush her while she's putting clothes away, get her all folded up in the corner of the closet like a cheap lawn chair & bang the daylights out of her. After, you pull one of her shirts off the hanger to wipe up with.

Stacie was super busy putting clothes away, when Eric totally snuck up on her & gave her a heavy dose of the ol' closet crunch.

by ms super funnier than eric November 15, 2011