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table tap

A large dispenser that holds about 180 ounces of beer. It's kind of like a mini keg for your table at the bar.
Hey there are a ton of us here tonight and we got a table, let's just get a table tap.
by bostonmark May 3, 2007
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Table topping

When you have no wife so you shove your chode into the umbrella hole in a picnic table then let the bug crawl up your wiener hole and impregnate a fox. You must be a 40 year old pedofile to complete this majestic and stimulising act.
"Come on boys let's go table topping at the local pub beer garden"
by Lickymcfuckfox May 27, 2018
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staining the table

It's when you defecate on someone's chest and gently smear it with your hand. Kind of like wax on, wax off.
Tony came over last night and he began staining the table.
by Josh1981 February 9, 2008
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table whore

a server in a restaurant who tries to take more tables than his or her share because she is a greedy biotch.
We were going table for table and she took three tables in a row without letting me take mine. She's such a table whore.
by ReadyLH May 6, 2008
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turn tables

where you spin the girl ur fucking on ur dick round and round
the girl wanted a thrill ride so i gave her the turn tables
by Slangwordmasta June 6, 2016
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table saw

A combination of the terms table, meaning a horizontal plane on which to engage in coitus, and saw, being an acronym for "Short and Wide". The meaning is to engage in sexual intercourse with an obese midget, doing so on a table.
Woah dude, do you hear about Austin doing the table saw?
by GeneralDiabeetus September 18, 2016
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Table faced

1. Being incredibly intoxicated.

2. Beating some one up to the point their face bleeds.
1. Man, I got so table faced last night I was doing the robot on the kitchen counter.

2. I STRAIGHT TABLE FACED THAT MOTHER FUCKER!
by theshakinbaccon December 23, 2009
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