closet jerk

someone who is only pretending to be nice to you but secretly doesn't like you. May ignore you, never include you and diss you in private with their closet jerk friends.

"He just politely shut me down with that irritating politician smile. What a closet jerk."

by Caaulolo September 16, 2020

Magic Closet

A closet where 2 people go in, and 3 people come out. Sometimes threesomes occur, and sometimes even more.

Steve: Hey Harold, did you see those ladies go into the magic closet just a second ago?
Harold: Yeah, lucky girl...

by ThatOneGuyThatJustShowsUp March 11, 2015

closet crackhead

Someone who hides their crack or drug addiction from their friends and steals money to fulfill it

My friend Koy is a closet crackhead because I know he’s a tweak but he won’t admit it

by DrJeffery January 25, 2020

Closet Keeper

Closet keeper is alternative way to tell someone that there spouse is gay & has not " Flamed On" Out of the Closet yet..

Honestly, you man shook my hand like a baby , stands,walks,talks leaves only one thing .. .. you do know that your man is a Closet Keeper. .

by Mrbigshtt August 8, 2016

goodie closet

noun
A closet for snacks. First discovered in OneTopic's "The straights are NOT OK"

"Did you steal the cheetos out of my goodie closet again?"
"I'm sorry, but it's my cheat day and I'm really hungry."

by Cookie_on_Joy August 13, 2020

Closet-Goblin

A person who is said to be more attractive then he or she really is, or a person who seems more attractive thanks to the aid of cosmetics, clothing, poor lighting, etc.

Bob's new girl friend he's been bragging about is a closet-goblin.

by Tramov February 12, 2009

closet deposit

The closet deposit is a womens "spank bank"

Look at that hunk.

Wow wow wee whaaa! he's going in my closet deposit for later

spank bank flick the bean

by Qbaybay October 11, 2013